#and a very tiny grinder I forgot I had

[milo-is-rambling]

I JUST FOUND A BUNCH OF RANDOM WEED WHAT THE FUCK

[steamishot]

funky

although there have been a lot of good moments this past month, i overall was in a funk. in hindsight, i was really disappointed with how the job search was going and a lot of my expectations going out the window. our plan of moving back in winter (aka now) looks more like summer of next year or later. i was in LA for three weeks and matt and i were semi-long distance. i felt really sad that after all these years of hard work, we were where we started: me in my parents house, him in a tiny apartment in NYC, and the future uncertain. i felt like we had nothing to show for all the years of sacrifice and it is embarrassing. also, being at home feels different recently. like there is some silent disappointment that we haven't moved back home yet and it keeps getting delayed (could be me projecting).

my ginger/headspace app from kaiser finally reactivated during a good time. i had a couple texting sessions with life coaches which were helpful. the main takeaway from this is that i became so tunnel-visioned on something that is essentially out of my control, and basically forgot to nurture all the things that are in my control. i felt like i had job search depression by extension. reading about how others were struggling to find a good job (and remembering that my own brother was unemployed for 8 months) helped me feel less alone. i am planning on doing therapy starting december since it is covered by kaiser when i'm in CA.

finally, i cried at least 6+ times in the last two weeks instead of holding it all in. i usually only cry a couple of times a year max. it felt very releasing, and i reminded myself it's okay to not be okay.

positive things

my cousin stephanie came to visit from TX and she slept over at my parent's house for 3 nights. it was so nice to get to know her a little bit more. i never felt close to her because she grew up a lot more americanized and i am naturally closed off, but there's also many commonalities by just being related. she and matt connected because they're both in healthcare. she joined us for hot yoga one day and was quite good

one of the days, my niece had a 102 fever. luckily, there were two healthcare professionals in the room. i went along with matt (MD) and stephanie (PA) to CVS to pick up an ear thermometer since we didn't have one at home

attended S&A's wedding. it was an intimate setting and the bride was gorgeous ;) got to finally meet the groom A and see J&O again after 3+ years. we really liked the succulents and food.

had a craft's day with G at her parent's house in east LA while watching twin flames and no hard feelings. we made felt ornaments that i later gave to my niece

went on a hike and ate dinner with matt's family at ho kee cafe.

got hai di lao and matcha with stephanie at westfiled santa anita. i gifted her my old coffee grinder, but my clumsy self broke the glass container at the last minute :/

had dinner at my aunt's house for veterans day. i got to see my baby cousin E who is taller now! i picked up cousin B from color guard practice. it was inspiring to see how hard these teenagers were working

as part of the long distance lifestyle, matt and i met up in norcal to celebrate his birthday. we stayed at alila ventana big sur and carmel valley ranch. alila, though beautiful, was TOO indulgent for me lol. due to it being all inclusive, we basically planned our days around eating at the same restaurant and i just felt meh and stuck. i much preferred our carmel valley ranch stay, where we were more active and got to explore the town

funny side note, we took a class called balance and fit at CVR and it turns out everyone in the class was at least 80 years old. the instructor was nice enough not to treat us differently haha

did a corepower sculpt class in redwood city before flying a red eye back to NYC

matt has an interview with USC next week. a few other places have responded: kaiser, UCLA, memorialcare and cedars. fingers crossed (but keeping expectations low)

i started watching abbott elementary and really enjoyed it. recently enjoyed the movie a million miles away. i also started playing chess on chess.com. this is me learning how to nurture other parts in my life i've been neglecting. i am literally learning resilience by playing chess. i have a tendency of not wanting to lose/fail, and rather give up than learning how to do better. but, here i am losing and continuing to try lol

thanksgiving: matt is on a hard rotation and it is his birthday on thanksgiving day. R&T mentioned hanging out but we haven't finalized plans yet. i have plans with T to watch marvels on friday.

black friday wishlist: manduka yoga mats, yogitoes yoga towels, breville bambino plus espresso machine to keep at my parent's house, fellow opus grinder (already purchased) and maybe a new kindle cover

note: life is much more enjoyable when i don't try and control everything. appreciate the here and now, because i might miss it once it's gone. having such rigid expectations will always leave me feeling disappointed. enjoy the journey as it is 70-80% of the process.

[seostudios]

mark’s dad.

pairing: johnny x fem!readr

genre: fluff + smut (like little angst) info: dilf!johnny, son!mark, best-friend!mark, aged-up!johnny warnings: age gap, unprotected sex, masturbation (fem) wc: 2.1k

note: hi i wrote this on my phone at like 1-3 in the morning... sorry if it’s bad but i wanted to put out something! i hope you guys enjoy it though cause dilf!johnny is so sexy

i think my son ditched you for haechan today, dear.” mr.suh informed you as you stood respectively in front of him, wearing an oversized sweater and basketball shorts. “aw man, i drove all this way for a movie with mark, and he ditched me for his other best friend...” you quietly sneer, the obvious jealously making an appearance. johnny chuckled, hands resting on his hips. he felt bad you came all this way for a simple movie night. “how about this?” your eyes look up, to the terrifyingly good looking man. “i will treat you to a movie and popcorn!” he suggested, knowing very damn well he’s going out of his way to possibly spend time with his son’s best friend, who he has known since they were sewed to the hip in sophomore year, now in university. “i-i don’t think that’s be appropriate,” “why? because i’d like to spend time and get to know the friend and possible love interest of my son? i don’t see any harm in that. i’ll get my coat.” he quickly responded, saving himself.

you knew he said you’d watch a movie together but you didn’t expect to get yourself two tickets to go watch a movie at an actual theatre. “that was amazing mr.suh-“ johnny looks down at your tiny figure holding the popcorn, “-i mean johnny!” if you’re being honest now, it was really nice getting to know johnny, besides the age difference and the possible complications with your amazing friendship with his son, you liked him. making your way over to his car, you listen on as he rambles about how he hasn’t this much of an outing since mark was in high school. “now he’s clinging onto me like we’re dudes, like i’m his dad not his bro.” he laughed, starting the car. “that’s so sweet though!! my mom never gave an effort to trying to be my friend even when i tried,” although you kind of party pooped the mood, you can literally reverse uno it right there. “but whatever!! she still brings me shopping which is good enough,”

nearing midnight and you know god damn well your mom would’ve killed you if she knew you took a taxi home alone in the middle of the night. johnny picked up on this, and even if he saw you in a new light today, a light which could possibly ruin his relationship with his son and a possible one with you, he couldn’t have let you home alone. “you know what? marks sleeping over at haechan’s anyway. i’ll call your mom and tell her you should stay over.” nodding, you let yourself in and up into his (messy) bedroom.

“hope you enjoy peanut butter and jelly for dinner, i kind of forgot to buy groceries...” johnny said handing you a plate of mini sandwiches. you mutter a quick thanks before digging in. tonight you saw johnny not as mr.suh but as johnny, the hot ass mother fucking dilf of the neighbourhood. you thought you were just a regular teenager to him, but you thought wrong. feeling his gaze on your exposed neck, lips. how his breathing would quicken whenever you leaned in to grab another sandwich. “wanna watch america’s got talent?” you asked pointing towards the couch. he shrugs agreeing, “why not?”

you had insisted on cleaning the dishes, i mean it was the least you could do. “so what’s the point of this whole show? to humiliate people or actually scout out people?!” johnny questioned staring at the screen, not noticing how you went from being on opposite ends of the couch to being almost inches away. should you initiate something? no, that would be overstepping into something erasable.

“this is so wrong,” you tell yourself before abruptly standing up. johnny turns his attention to you, trying to foreshadow your next moves. however, he didn’t expect for you to turn back around and straddle on his lap, “whoa..” he said, gripping onto your hips. “i want you.” his mind goes blur momentarily, “i-i cant, your my son’s best friend...” god, you looked so hot with your shorts bunched up as far as they could as you slowly grinder down onto his (huge) clothed cock. “fu..fuck,” he moans aloud, pushing all thoughts aside except for the one that kept telling him to ruin you tonight. the night was going better than planned, since you were in straddled on a topless johnny with only your bra and shorts on... probably a good twenty five minutes into kiss play, but mark chose the best time to unintentionally cockblock you and his dad. “y/n!!”mark shouted through the phone loud enough for johnny to hear (and the speaker wasn’t even on!) “yes markie?” you cooed, using one hand to speak on the phone and the other to signal johnny to keep it quiet. your hands trailed overtop your breasts, cupping them through your bra and pinching your hardened nipples, soon bringing your cold fingers down to the waistband of your shorts. “it’s fine. we can always watch a movie next weekend, i literally see you everyday! go hang out with hyuck,” you encouraged. past the waistband and under the hello kitty panties your hand comes in contact with your sensitive (dripping) folds. “a-ah, m..mark i gotta go...” “are you getting laid or something? i’m out.” he quickly ends the phone and you made sure to turn on ‘do not disturb’ incase he calls again.

“go on, i’ll watch.” johnny said seductively observing you as you toyed with your sensitive clot. “i’m close johnny!” you quietly moan into his ear, rubbing faster. “cum on your fingers, now.” he ordered, feeling you twitch underneath him, grinding as you had an orgasm. “dirty girl...” he groans watching you pull your fingers up to suck dry. now, you were a filthy girl, tasting yourself without being told to, cumming in your panties which you knew damn might have to force you to go commando tonight in marks bed. it was like a slap in the face when johnny lifted you up to stand, “it’s late. i- we should head to bed... i can give you some new shorts... since you know,” he quickly stammered before swiping his shirt off the floor, heading upstairs.

it was almost nine in the morning when you woke up, you knew johnny woke up around seven to eight so the sizzling smell of bacon wasn’t just some evil mind games. after last night, you felt, intense shame and guilt. did you seriously just betray your best friend for a lousy orgasm you could’ve done alone in the bathroom. “your up! i made breakfast, go ahead and dig in, i’m just gonna be cleaning up my bedroom.” he sounded as if you didn’t cum all over his lap not even 12 hours ago, but i guess he shouldn’t dwell in the past especially this time.

“mr.suh! my mom’s here! thank you... goodbye!” you shout from the front door. “anytime! bye!” he replies before you jolt out the door.

it’s been a couple days and johnny hasn’t left your mind. you always think about what stopped him, was it the age? your friendship with mark? that fucking phone call? johnny and you that night was like no other, you saw him for johnny, not mr.suh and it made your panties soak at every thought. how his ink black hair is always combed and in the most attractive middle part, how his broad should could feel when you hold yourself while being railed by his enormous cock. it was big, would it even fit? you’ve been with men before but the bulge you felt poking you in then thigh was something else compared to the other men.

you roamed his mind freely too. spending his day drinking hours, pondering over you, will you just slap him in the face and let him know you want him and you don’t care? he hopes. but it’s wrong. “dad! y/n’s coming over to study today,” mark shouted running down the stairs to his father. “so don’t snatch her up and take her away for a movie date, we got an exam this monday.” he said nonchalantly, the mention of their little outing slipping oh too casually. “w-what?” he asked surprised. “yeah yeah, i know about your little date and hook up” “- we didn’t hook up.” johnny interrupted, “well whatever you were doing for her to end my phone call like that,” he goes to the fridge to grab some milk, “so...” johnny said, eager on his son’s say on this. “so..? do you want me to be mad, dad?” i was lying if i said johnny was chill now... “no!!!!” he shouted, which earns a couple laughs from mark. “hey, dad,” mark sits down infront of his father. “it’s okay, y/n probably likes you back so you can do whatever you want with her, except hurt her cause i’ll kill you.” he deadpans before letting him off with a laugh. “so she can be your new mom for all you care?” he asked, playfully of course, waiting for the “hell no” and “what the fuck dad?!” to come but... “i mean she bags and tells me what to do, she helps me with school, laundry and chicks so... i don’t see why not,”

ding ding ding ding ding ding now what? hopping off the bean bag you were binge watching the office on, you head over to the door, not caring what you look like, just shut up to whoever had the audacity to spam a doorbell. “hello?!” you look up, “hey y/n,” johnny said with a small daisy in his hand.

“let me be your boyfriend,”

“what about mark?” you asked, staring at your feet wiggle in anticipation. hoping he’d tell you he doesn’t care and we could do whatever we wanted to. “funny you asked, he said for all he cares you could be his step mom.” you threw your head back laughing “he what?! no he didn’t....” the laughter dies down soon enough to get back to seriously listening in on what he has to say but did mark really not care? “your girlfriend huh?” you asked, raising a brow. he nodded. johnny proceeds to take the daisy and place it behind your ear, “you look like shit, but that is sexy as fuck.” he said, caressing your cheek before leaning in to place a peck on your lips.

“i don’t get why you drove half an hour here to say that, when i was already coming over to study.” you tell your boyfriend, johnny, as your backs his mattress. it was seriously an eventful day, wasn’t it? “i thought i should be romantic,” he shrugged turning to his side to wrap his large arms around your waist pulling you in closer. “i like this...” he mumbled into your hair, slowly drifting off to sleep.

“are you falling asleep?! we need to leave in ten minutes!!” you shouted, attempting to free yourself from his hold but he was knocked out and not letting go any time soon. “i hate you.” “i think it’s the quiet opposite y/n dear,” he replied, burying himself in the blanket, bringing you with him. “now let’s take a quick nap, mark can wait,” you sigh in defeat, “okay fine... twenty minutes!”

five months later, and you couldn’t believe having a relationship with your best friends dad was oddly working out perfectly. “johnny! fuck! baby your so good!” you whine as he penetrates into you against the wall. your legs wrapped around his waist as his cock rubs around your g-spot stimulating you into your third orgasm of that night. mark had recently gone travelling with jeno for fun so that meant you and johnny could’ve have your own fun in the empty house. “you can cum for me one more time can’t you?” he begged, placing you on the kitchen counter, kissing down your stomach. “answer me...” he sucks harhly on your clit. “yes! i can!!” you whined, squirming feeling johnny licking up your juicie; which sure as hell was mixed with his own cum, lapping his tongue around until you were shaking under his mouth and curling your toes to his mouth’s magic. “i’m- i’m cumming!!” you scream, releasing your juices onto the man’s face. “my favourite meal of the day.” he playfully joked before pinching your nipple. “tired?” he asked, as if he hadn’t been using you as a cum dump for hours. “mhm,” you reply opening your arms for him to carry you up, because “no way in hell am i walking up the stairs today after being railed by a monster cock.” you said snorting with a laugh. nonetheless, johnny swoops you up and gracefully carried you up and into his bed, “we can clean up tomorrow, let’s sleep now.” he said, feeling you wrap around him like a koala. “mmm goodnight... i love you,” you said in the crock of his neck, right below his ear before drifting off, “love you too,”

[beautifulletdownfics]

Terrible to Meet You - A Harry Styles One Shot - Act 2, Let not the time discern

++

Harry wants to get out of the house. Alex wants to get home.

Alex meets Harry at at crossroads. Harry meets Alex on a one way street.

A coffee shop OU fic feat. lattes, lamingtons & that Great Unfathomable Feeling.

Story Page Here My Masterlist Here

Read Act 1, If at first we meet Here

++

Two of Us:  'This universe ain't big enough to keep us apart'

&&&

Harry went back to the cafe the next day. (And, after that, every day for a medium while)

There was something about it. Something about the tiny cafe he must have walked past a hundred times before but never took much notice of. Perhaps it was the way he felt the rest of the day after having been there. Or the fact the coffee was fucking good. But also maybe it was her—kind eyes, a foreign accent and a quick wit. It would take Harry's mind and body marginally longer than his heart to recognise what pulled him there. 

Alex was surprised when he returned. Part of her was relieved, too. The other part of her was busy extracting the dagger of guilt that shot through her chest. Seeing Harry reminded her that she forgot to tell her flatmates the juicy The Daily Dose gossip about Harry Styles. And Harry walking up to the window a little before 8 am with a calm but reassuring smile on his face made something in her still, and Alex realised he wasn't gossip at all. 

"Hi," he greeted her pleasantly, seemingly thinking nothing of the way his hand was tucked into the top of his running shorts to extract his phone for payment. (Alex's heart did a lusty little backflip) She saw a slither of a toned tummy and the way the elastic of the shorts folded over itself, "I'm back for more," he said.

More coffee, and more of whatever else it was packaged into the takeaway cups with it. Alex and Paul were Harry's first human interaction after returning from LA. And, where 24 hours prior his aching need had been to see literally anybody, it was now just a need to see more of this somebody. A person whose name he didn't know yet and who Harry had absolutely no reason to feel connected to at all. Knitted hearts aren't visible to the human eye, not when it isn't Looking.

He did though. Although the way she was now watching him with a completely blank expression on her face and a far off look in her eyes made Harry's confidence falter. He repeated what he'd already said over in his head looking for where he might've gone wrong. Harry came up blank. Was she completely freaked out by him already?

Paul rescued her from what Alex was sure was turning into a flushed moment for her. Did Harry really not realise what he'd said with his fingers beyond the elastic of his shorts? Paul's head appeared over her shoulder as a frown started to appear on Harry's face, "Careful Harry, she's a grump today."

Nobody blinked an eye at Paul using Harry's name before it was technically given to them. 

"I am not," Alex insisted too quickly, too forcefully. Her elbow launched backwards, trying to catch Paul's gut. She really was a grump. But last night's wine was still causing her head to thump and her throat to ache. Tears and a bottle of red worked well in the moment but weren't as comforting the morning after. 

Paul's eyebrows rose in Harry's direction, and he waved a hand out in front of him, expertly weaving away from her attack even in the tiny space, "See?"

"Ah," Harry nodded awkwardly and briefly looked at his feet.

"Doesn't like it when I start talking about universe stuff," Paul explained loudly, despite nobody asking for him to. "Very spiritually pragmatic, the Australians."

"Didn't know that," Harry added, expression turning to one of interest. He wasn't involved in this part of the conversation the previous day.

"Long black?" Alex asked because yes she remembered his order, and she had the defence of it having been less than 24 hours since she last made Harry's coffee in case anyone started raising eyebrows for another reason.

"Uh, yeah," Harry fumbled over how quickly the exchange turned to business, "Thank you."

She got to work but felt Harry's eyes on her as her hands ran on autopilot, stepping through the process. The click click of the bean hopper, the churn of the grinder, packing the head … Alex put the machine on to run and internally cursed Paul, who took himself into the back room, mumbling something about them running low on serviettes. A blatant lie. 

Now, when she turned back to Harry, she tried to look calm and serene, like him. But she was already covered in coffee grind and couldn't be sure there wasn't a smudge of it across her face. Paul never told her when there was. Harry's heart was waving to hers widely.

"So … You're definitely not in a bad mood then?" Harry had an expression on his face that told Alex he was testing the waters, but the teasing note was there in just the right amount. 

"I'm hungover, which is completely different," she provided.

His smile turned into a grimace, "Oh yeah, completely … Nothing worse … Self-inflicted misery."

Alex tried not to let Harry's awkwardness affect her and in doing so fell into an old pastime of hers; filing the silence with mindless chatter, "Exactly. And then if you add in some idiot going on about the universe and it's wonderful, eternal plans for my existence … I could just kill a man, you know?"

Paul, Paul is the man I could kill, she thought.

He didn't know, but Harry nodded obediently anyway, "You need carbs and coffee, not the cosmos."

"Thank you," Alex gave Harry a look that told him she thought it was obvious the two of them were right, "I mean, the downright gall of that man, trying to put the universe on me this year of all years. Absolutely bloody insane."

Harry tried to hide the instant smile that came to his face hearing her accent navigate absolutely bloody insane. "I'm Harry … By the way … Feel like we're at names."

"Alexandra. But it's Alex." She added quickly, ignoring the lovely, melodic chuckle that came from Harry, "Do you really think that this year, with a global pandemic, anyone can claim that the universe is conspiring for their specific good? Like, 'Sorry everyone about the pandemic, this is really about my destiny, so you're all just going to have to hang tight while that all falls into place!' This is a terrible year. The universe isn't setting up shit."

"Well, it's terrible to meet you, Alex," Harry grinned, stealing her word. She really was in a grump, and he loved it. But if there was one thing Harry knew how to do, it was charm and disarm. He had a feeling nothing would look as lovely as Alex with a blush he'd put there. 

Alex paused where she was about to put the lid on his coffee. She felt her cheeks heat as the last few moments played over in her head—her ranting, Harry's introduction, threatening to murder a man—and then she took in the way he was watching her. A little pink-cheeked himself, amused but not appalled, a waiting look of anticipation on his face for what might come out of her big mouth next. 

"I think I might still be a little drunk," she excused meekly. Despite herself, Alex thought she might have a little crush.

"You're handling it well," Harry provided kindly, taking the coffee from where Alex put it down in front of him. He waved his phone over the payment portal, waiting for the beep before locking the screen and going back to looking at her, "Drinking for any particular reason?"

"Oh," Alex's eyes widened, "I—

—"Sorry, that was intrusive of me."

"No, it's okay," she continued quietly, not seeing the way her softening had Harry frowning in concentration to tune into what she was about to say, "I've been trying to get home—back to Australia—for a while now. Flights keep getting cancelled or, on Saturday, I was bumped from one at Heathrow…. So we're back to square one."

Dread filled Harry instantly. He could see how upset Alex was, the heartache in her voice—the homesickness—and he hated this look on her, the opposite to the one he'd just daydreamed about. If there was one thing Harry knew it was what it was to miss home. There was no cure for it. A dozen ways he could offer to help burst to the tip of his tongue, but he held them back. 

"I'm sorry, that's really shit. Have …" he hesitated to ask, "Have they put you on another one?"

She smiled through glassy eyes, "It's complicated, that's not really how flights home are working at the moment … But it's alright! I'm fine. I'll get there eventually. I got the refund for the first one, back in April, last week and Paul's let me come back to work here three times now so … This can't last forever, right?"

Harry didn't have an answer for that, he was in no hurry to return to his house as he took a sip of his coffee, "How long has it been since you were home?"

"I went back for a visit a little over two years ago," Alex flipped a button on the espresso machine in front of her, to distract herself from the subject but also the way Harry was watching her. If only she could see the way the hearts were watching each other. She started rinsing out her coffee mug under the stream of boiling water, "My sister came over for Christmas last year, though."

"I just got back from America," Harry provided without knowing where the urge to comfort this stranger was coming from, "I was only gone a few months, and it was a little hard to get back, it felt dreadful, so I can't imagine what it's like for you. That's a long time to be so far from home, especially now."

While he spoke, Alex started making herself a latte, for something to do in the moment and for something to hold onto if Harry stayed at the window. 

"How long have you been in London?" He asked. How long have you been just around the corner? Harry thought. 

When she looked over at him, Harry felt like she was seeing through him. There was something about her soft, brown eyes and the way they exuded kindness that had him buoyant with giddiness at the same time as feeling incredibly self-conscious. 

"Four years now," Alex told him, "Was supposed to be just a 12-month adventure."

"Your family must miss you then."

She shrugged, "I think they're used to it now. Life moves on without you, which is strange at first. Tough to get used to, that the people who own you suddenly have lives you only know about from catch-ups and Instagram posts."

Harry didn't know how to tell her that he knew exactly what she meant. He'd been struggling with that very notion for years now. Home never left like the same home he remembered, and wherever he found himself living—LA or the road—never quite felt right either. 

"I've loved it though," Alex added, "Wouldn't have stayed if I didn't. This year though … I just want to be home, London's… Lost something."

Harry watched her shake herself out of the sad moment, her face brightened, and he barely registered the way Alex said in a genuinely upbeat fashion that she'd just have to wait for her time. He smiled along with the rising of her cheeks and felt like he saw a transition between two feelings that was entirely healthy and okay. She wasn't pretending. Her graciousness and patience with life were astounding, despite the fact he'd equally seen her sadness as being genuine as well. The balance there was enlightening. 

"Need to make the most of the bonus time you've been given here then," he tried hesitantly. The hearts nodded at each other, gleefully. 

That had been the right thing to say, the smile on Alex's face amplified in agreement, "Exactly.”

3AM 'She's got a little bit of something' &&&

Alex was sitting on an upturned milk crate as Harry rounded the corner. 

His step faltered but only because she was looking right at him as if expecting him to arrive. He smiled under his mask and tugged it down while he was still a reasonable distance away. Alex smiling at him, holy hell did that taste—the flavour of her spirit—feel good in Harry's chest. Each day for nearly a month he'd felt the same way every time he saw her.

Alex received a text message from Harry just after 7 am that morning. Unlike the ones he sent every other day telling her he was on his way (an old fashioned tip from his sister, to demonstrate to Alex that Harry was thinking of her) that morning Harry told her he wouldn't see her until the afternoon. All day, she waited. Her heart tapped its foot impatiently in her chest, a nervous ticking that made Alex clumsy and disappointed when every new customer wasn't him.

"Hello," Harry grinned back at her, because that was all he could do, really. In her presence happiness exploded out of him and charged his whole body faster than caffeine ever could. His shoe scuffed the concrete path again as he looked at the closed cafe behind her, "Did I miss something?"

Harry stopped a safe distance from her, not sure how this new level of interaction would go. He'd never seen her whole body all at once, part of her was always obscured by the cafe window. Alex in the flesh—in the whole—was like the first taste of chilli on his tongue, invigorating in a way that stole the breath from his lungs.

"We close at three every day," she stayed seated but pushed another crate towards him with her foot. There were brown smudges of coffee grind all up and down her shins, and he guessed the black jeans she wore to work were strategic.

Harry squinted the sign on the window by the door, he was always occupied by her and didn't need arbitrary activities like reading signs to keep him entertained waiting for his coffee, "Really?"

"You usually come in the morning," Alex said pleasantly, waiting for him to sit down opposite her, "Here."

Harry was overwhelmed, he really was, by the sight of a white takeaway cup in her hand, and he reached for it carefully, "What's this—Alex."

"Can't have you missing your coffee … Made it right before closing, had to put the tiniest drop of milk in there otherwise it would shit itself and taste horrendous," she laughed at his wrinkled nose at the mention of milk, he sniffed the lid just to tease her or to get her to roll her eyes at him blithely. It worked, "It won't kill you, promise."

"Says someone whose intestines know how to handle lactose without making you shit yourself," he borrowed her phrase. Sounded better when Alex said it, with the wideness and the breadth of her accent. 

Alex tilted her head back and laughed. Really laughed and Harry didn't have it in him to be embarrassed or scold himself for how he just spoke about his bowels in front of her, because the sound is marvellous and so Alex. It's unapologetic and genuine and a touch off-beat, which he loves. 

"Holy shit," she let out a long, shaking breath afterwards, holding a palm to her rib as if in pain. She was pretending not to notice how Harry stared at her while she was laughing as if extremely happy with himself. "You wear white bottoms far too often for that to be a daily worry for you."

"Oh, it's a worry," Harry insisted, mainly to keep the joke going. He felt like his face was about to crack in half, "I can't have people spiking my coffees without my knowledge," Harry took a sip but then pointed his finger at her playfully, "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you."

As if he wasn't already.

"Busy day?" Alex asks, watching Harry take a hearty sip of the coffee she made him.

"Yeah, I um … I had some, ah, work stuff."

"Oh?" Alex crossed one leg over the other and looked at Harry with (mock) interest, "What do you do for work?"

Harry's eyes bulged involuntarily, and his mind went completely blank. Did she actually not know? 

Alex only let the horror play on his face for a few seconds, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Jesus, Harry, sorry. I was just having a go."

"You're an excellent actress, as it turns out," he swallowed down the moment of panic. It only ever happened once before, years before, that a girl he'd been interested in hadn't known who Harry was beforehand. It hadn't ended up going down well.

Alex asks Harry about the book recommendation she sent him the week before, whether he'd started reading it yet. 

Harry held up a finger at her, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that," he said, "But I haven't had lunch … I'd promised myself one of Paul's ham and cheese croissants."

"Well, you're shit out of luck, unfortunately," Alex told him, "He takes the keys with him, I can't break in and make you one. But the cafe on the high street around the corner stays open until five. You could try there?"

Harry felt like he was about to defecate himself, but it wasn't from the lactose, "Will you join me?"

Alex's eyes brightening instantly, but Harry didn't miss the way her cheeks reddened, "Sure. Of course."

"Great!" Harry coughed down his too-enthusiastic response then worried—as everyone did in 2020—that his physical reaction to her saying yes, the cough, would be interpreted as a symptom of something else entirely. He checks the time on his Apple Watch, "Should we go then?"

They walk in step away from The Daily Dose, and away from the previous pattern of their friendship. It strikes them both that this is the first time (both trip over 'first' in their minds as having the possibility to suggest it happening more often but their hearts have known all along, of course) they were out in the world together, the first time they were more than barista and customer.

Harry's hand touched Alex's forearm when they got to the cafe's door as he held it open and encouraged her to go inside. They ordered takeaway, Harry got a croissant (he was still working on the coffee Alex made him) while Alex ordered a tea. They then walked back a little way to where there was a small park with vacant seats Harry noticed on the way past. 

"So, the book …" Alex asked him, the lid of her tea is off to let the heat escape. She’d crossed her legs and angled her hips towards him on the bench seat. Harry faced forward, heart hammering as he tried to remember how to use his voice.

Harry struggled to look dignified while biting into his too-hot croissant, the cheese burnt his lip, but he tried to hide it, "Oh, yeah, well, I haven't started it."

"I thought you said you wanted to speak to me about it!" She laughed.

"A ploy," Harry admitted sheepishly, "Was trying to figure out how to ask you to come with me."

In her head, Alex squealed. Her heart held two thumbs up at Harry's.

"How's the coffee," she asked, eyeing the cup in his hand.

Harry grins, knowing his next line is a winner, "Best in London, easily."

+++

GIve me all your best Alex & Harry theories Act 3, Hearts beat not fail - coming soon!

+++

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[spacesuitsforemergency]

Can we get a Ninavaeh story???

First one that generated and it was so accurate-

“AND THEN YOU FORGOT TO WIRE THE BOMB CORRECTLY SO I HAD TO MANUALLY DO IT AND I BLEW UP. DO YOUR PIGEON SIZED BRAINS COMPREHEND THAT, YOU DUMBSHITS?!”

Nevaeh had just opened the door to the CoC’s base, when she heard her girlfriend screaming her head off at someone. Nina was always so silent and hardly ever spoke in general, so she didn’t even realize at first it was her until she rounded the corner and saw her tiny girlfriend shouting up at her teams resident idiots: Ronan and Eugene.

“Little blade?” Nevaeh called for her attention, momentarily getting it when Nina looked at her with her same enraged face.

“One moment, dorogaya.” Nina said in her normal, almost monotone voice before turning back around and yelling, “NEXT TIME THAT HAPPENS, I WILL BE SHOVING YOUR ASSES THROUGH THE MEAT GRINDER AT THE BUTCHER SHOP DOWN THE STREET, LEGS FIRST SO YOU FEEL IT ALL. UNDERSTAND ME?!”

“Yes, mom.” Eugene snickered and Ronan laughed and elbowed him.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a wad, lady.” Ronan gave her his annoying ass grin.

“THATS IT.” Nina raged, unsheathing her claws and pouncing at them, making them shriek like little girls. But as she jumped, Nevaeh walked up behind her and caught her, flipping her over her shoulder and holding her by the back of her thighs as Nina hung over her.

“NEVAEH WAIT, I NEED TO KILL THEM.” Nina squirmed in her girlfriends grip, but not enough to actually get free or hurt her, just enough to regain some of her dignity.

“No you don’t. They’re your friends, you love them.” Nevaeh assured her as she carried her outside and to Nina’s motorcycle that was parked outside.

“No. I hate them.” Nina grumbled. “Will you put me down now?”

“Will you run back inside and kill them?”

“…..no.”

“That wasn’t very convincing.”

“Nev!”

“Okay, okay.” Nevaeh chuckled, gently setting her mate down and nuzzling her nose against hers. Nina sighed in content as they pressed their forehead against each other’s, before attempting to dart off, but Nevaeh was prepared and grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up, holding her against her chest like a teddy bear.

“Nevaeh! Put me down!” Nina laughed (for once) as she made half assed attempts to escape her grip. Nevaeh knew Nina could easily slip out of her arms, but also knew that Nina loved being held by her and didn’t actually want her to stop.

“Not unless you behave.” Nevaeh whispered, not meaning to sound so seductive but coming off that way, which made blood rush to Nina’s face, who was glad she couldn’t see it.

“Come on, I’ll drive us to my place.” Nina said as Nevaeh set her down again, going to her bike and straddling it. Nevaeh got on behind her, straddling the bike and her girlfriend, wrapping her large arms around her tiny waist and kissing her neck as she drove off.

[lozzypoz321]

Word count: 3.8k!

A/N: this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I’m super proud of it, also the biggest word count I’ve ever done, hope you enjoy and pretty please leave feedback!! <3

Warnings: brief mentions of underage sex, calling of child services, brief mentions of an anxiety attack

Avengers college AU

-

Bucky: Guys I’m really desperate

Bruce: what?

Steve: wdym?

Bucky: does anyone have the first period free tomorrow? Can’t afford a babysitter for Riley :/

Tony: nah can’t, I’ve got a busy schedule

Clint: economics man

Bruce: science m8

Nat: same as Clint I’m afraid Jamesy

Clint: wbu Steve?

Steve: library club and I can’t skip

Bucky: >: I

Bucky: I think I may be having a midlife crisis.

Tony: okay 1. You’re 20 and 2. You shouldn’t have gone an’ knocked up a woman at 17

Nat: Tony!

Bucky: You’re acting like you didn’t get some at 17 Tony

Bruce: he has a fair point.

Nat: and anyway Riley’s too pure for your insults Tony

Bucky: uwu

Tony: you have officially turned into every teenage girl Barnes

Nat: anywayyyyyyy, Thor how’re you coping with your brother’s “phase”

Tony: I am starting to think Loki’s goth phase isn’t just a phase Natalie, I caught him walking around in a skull T-shirt with chains this morning

Clint: oh daym

Steve: what are you going to do?

Thor: I am going to show that I respect him by buying him some flowers!

Clint: What abt a chain tho?

Nat: wait, does anyone wanna go to laser tag at some point?

Tony: oooh yes!

Bruce: yeah I’m down! :)

Steve: I’ve got time yeah thanks

Bucky: I never back down from a laser tag game

Nat: great! I’ll book it with Tony’s card

Tony: wait what?

Bucky: oh shit, I’ve gotta go, Riley’s just run away somewhere brb

Clint: oh damn.

Bucky shoved his phone hastily into his pocket and looked around, desperation filling his eyes as they searched for any sign of his daughter. The bushes swayed with the evening breeze and very few people strolled around campus, either going on a walk, meeting up early with friends or getting food. The young adult heavily sighed out of relief when he caught sight of Riley, excitedly chatting to a man, who James quickly identified him as one of his other friends, Sam.

Braking out into a light jog, he made his way across campus to the pair while also trying to avoid bumping into the other students that were now staring at him, in college he was basically known as the fuck boy. Not that he was, the only reason behind it was that he had a daughter at 17 and everyone apart from his friends never saw past that.

“What’re you doing here munchkin?” He asked the small girl who was now shyly smiling at her father. Sam chuckled at the duo and turning his attention away from Riley, “wasn’t her fault dude, just telling me how she’s going to chemistry class tomorrow, can’t wait to see that” he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Bucky mentally sighed, yes it was going to be very tough tomorrow. Not only was she very restless, but she also was very talkative and wouldn’t put a filter on around people older than her, which most of the time could be very offensive. “Yeah! I promised him I’ll be good!”

“Oh really? Well I kinda hoped you’d have something to say to Professor Demon”

“Sam,” he groaned and ran a hand through his hair “his names Damon, if he caught you sayin’ that then we’d get suspended so quickly dude” Riley giggled and looked up at her dad innocently “and then we’d go poor because you suck at getting jobs”

“He sucks at everything” Sam mumbled, earning a glare from the other man. “We better go get some food now, there’s literally nothing in the fridge except a can of tuna, some ketchup and packets of sour sauce from takeout awhile ago”

“Oof man”

The walk to the diner that he had decided on going to after he couldn’t be bothered going grocery shopping was a long one. Riley insisted on stopping for every dog they saw, to ask to stroke it. “Ri’ baby, we can’t keep stopping, we gotta get back to the dorm before it’s your bedtime”

The pout she sent him instantly melted his heart before he realised she knew exactly what she was doing and he readjusted his grip on her hand so she didn’t end up running away again like she did earlier.

-

“Ri’ what do you want?” He asked the child once the waitress had come over asking for their orders. She gave a nonchalant shrug and turned her attention back to the video that was playing on Bucky’s phone that he had given her for the wait. “M’kay so, can we get a,” he took a pause to take a quick glance at the kid’s menu on the table “chicken nuggets and chips please with… chocolate milkshake?”

Riley nodded and the waitress, who from the name tag on her apron, was named Elizabeth, began to write down both his and her order but halfway through gave a quick glance up to Bucky, but when he caught her cheeks flooded red that made his daughter snort.

“Is that all sir?”

“Riley shut up” he quietly told the girl as Elizabeth walked away with her head down. “She was flirting with you dad” she laughed making him jokingly nudge her across the table “Oi, and anyway she’s not my type munchkin”

“Well don’t be too loud, the creeps staring at you dad”

He didn’t mean to, but without thinking his head whipped round to instantly make eye contact with the woman who was biting her lip, her eyes now as big as plates. His cheeks heated furiously as he immediately turned back around to face his adorable giggling daughter. “You better like those chicken nuggets munchkin cause I’ve got to go through this to get them”

“I will dad, I like chickens”

-

“Riley, come on you gotta get some sleep” he groaned once she’d slid onto the sofa where he was writing his assignment last minute for the fifth time that night.

“But dad,” She whined and pulled on the sleeve of the college logo sweater he had pulled on without even thinking about it once they’d got home as he had only just realised he had a paper to write, “I’m not tired and I don’t want to be alone”

His eyes softened at the pleading look on her face that would get him to do anything she wanted him to “m’kay baby, how about we go into into the bedroom and you try to get some sleep while I finish this up”

She nodded enthusiastically and he picked up the study books and paper in one hand and Riley in the other, deep eye bags could be found on his face from the lack of sleep that he had spent pulling all-nighters working on college work and began to make his way into the small room that had a single bed pressed up against the wall with a mattress next to it, an abundance of blankets on both.

He set the small girl onto the single bed and lowered himself down into the smaller one, using the bed frame to press his back against and using a hardback book underneath the paper to rest on.

“Why do people stare at you?” Bucky only just heard Riley mumble as her eyes struggled to keep open. He stopped writing but kept his hand in the same place while grinder his teeth, wondering what to say. “Cause baby… people don’t really think that I should have you this young,” he struggled to find the words as he felt his daughter roll onto her back to listen “but they don’t understand that I love you a lot, don’t I munchkin?”

Riley giggled behind him and uttered a small yes. “At least they haven’t tried to take me away again”

The young man's breath hitched in the back of his throat at the memory flashed through his mind. They’d been watching a movie with Steve after their classes and a knock had sounded on the door.Apparently, Child services had been called by one of the students and they tried to take her away but he wouldn’t let them, they had threatened to take him to court because the living settings were not meant for a child but 17-year-old Steve had calmly spoken to them outside the room while James had been on the edge of a panic attack inside.

“Yeah, scared me Ri’” his horse voice answered back making her eyebrows scrunch in confusion “I’m not going anywhere dad. Well, unless I die but y’know”

He sent her a bitch face look over his shoulder which made her uncontrollably giggle. Bucky chuckled and set his attention back to the essay while absent mindedly talking to her about random things.

“Is Loki gonna be at the laser tag place?” She asked and added on excitedly “oooh can I come dad?!”

“Sure doll, let me tell the guys”

Buck: we got plus ones on this laser tag thing?

Bruce: whyyyy??

Thor: oooh if that is the case I would very much like to take my brother!

Nat: oh are you bringing Riley then?

Buck: yup

Steve: I don’t see why not

Tony: I’m off to speak to this really hot girl

Clint: what that spice girl?

Buck: do you mean pepper?

Clint: ah yes!

He chuckled at the screen and chucked his phone to the side while looking up to his daughter on the bed above him, going to tell her they approved before stopping and smiling to himself as he caught sight of her peaceful, sleeping form.

Without waking her up, he got off the mattress and tucked in the blankets, quietly laughing as he retrieved the earbuds she had borrowed in the diner from her pocket. “Night munchkin”

-

Bucky groaned as the ringing of his phone awoke him, the technology next to his ear from when he had fallen asleep sat up. “Wha’?”

It was so early in the morning that he didn’t even have the energy to think of a proper sentence, never mind say one.

Steve: hey guys make sure your ready, it starts an hour after school

Clint: Steve. School. Finishes. At. 6. Pm. What. Tf. Do. You. Mean. It. Starts. In. An. hour. After.

Nat: we thought you could do with a late start

Tony: fuck you Romanoff

Clint: ten bucks says she’s smirking rn

Buck: ughhh

Bruce: I feel exactly the same way

Buck: no you don’t. I spent up until 6 am doing that English essay I forgot about

Tony: oof

Bucky: I will physically be running on caffeine this morning so be ready

He took a look around the messy room before deciding he would clean it another day and raised himself onto his feet before making sure Riley was still on the single bed asleep. He made his way to the tiny kitchen that held a mini-fridge, microwave, kettle and an oven with two counters on one side to make himself a cup of coffee that he was depending on if he had to spend an hour of his day running around in sweaty gear and a fake gun while making sure his daughter didn’t run away to get some sort of snack.

“Fuck” he mumbled as the loud whirring of the kettle started, sure to wake Riley up. “I’m tired” he heard a voice groan behind him, making the man whirl around, instantly making eye contact with his daughter. Sighing out of relief and returning back to the drink he was previously making. “So am I doll, yet you can’t have coffee”

He made her go get dressed and brush her teeth while he had a mental breakdown over what he was going to do about the paper he didn’t manage to finish before he fell asleep last night.

“Dad,” Bucky looked up to find Riley once again dressed in a pair of Joggers and a baggy T-shirt that she’d dragged out of the very few clean clothes in her draw “someone’s messaging your laptop”

She struggled to hold up the open device that showed multiple emails from one of his professors questioning his performance in class for the recent weeks. He inwardly cursed and took the laptop from her to begin emailing her back, choosing to ignore the insults she had thrown at him and his daughter in the middle of it.

“She is so full of-“ he stopped halfway through the sentence, noticing that Riley was sat next to him, quietly playing a YouTube video on his phone. “Whatcha watching Ri’?” He asked, his attention still focusing on trying to be professional in the email back. “c- c-“ she struggled to pronounce the word so she passed it to him.

“Commentary channels?” The man asked with a laugh, thinking about how most parents wouldn’t even let their 4 child near a video like that but yet again he wasn’t like most parents. He was 20 and had to do this alone.

“Oh yeah”

“Come on munchkin, we gotta get to first period before we’re late” he told her and grabbed his backpack to quickly shove his college things in before glancing at the digital clock on his phone and scooping Riley up so they could get there quicker.

Halfway through the panicked running across campus, the small girl decided she needed a nap and fell asleep against his shoulder, making Natalia laugh as they passed.

As soon as he arrived in the classroom he knew it was a bad idea when 11 pair of eyes fell to his, heavily panting and holding an asleep 4-year-old.

“Sir he’s late” a girl, younger than him moaned to the teacher who was now shrugging his shoulders “I don’t care”

“But professor, why’d he bring the baby?”

Bucky had enough of everyone staring at him, he readjusted the bag on his back before making his way to the back of the class, sitting in an empty seat in between Sam and Tony and placed Riley on his lap.

“That’s a good question Jaimee, Barnes?”

“Couldn’t find anyone to look after her professor” he mumbled in response, making sure to be loud enough to hear. “No babysitter?”

“Can’t afford it sir”

He didn’t once make eye contact with anyone in the room, instead putting his attention on the books that he was bringing out of his bag. “You alright man?” Tony whispered across the desk and flicked a pen at him, “Oi” Bucky hissed as the metal came in contact with the side of his head making Sam laugh loudly at him.

“Dad,” a mumble was heard quietly, making the older man look at his daughter, eyes that were previously closed were now looking up at his wide with pleading “I’m hungry”

If he was anywhere else in the world he would have sworn loudly, but right now he was in a class with 10 other students and his daughter. “Okay baby, but you're gonna have to wait for a while, we’re in my class but I’ll get you something after okay?”

She nodded and rested her hair back against his chest, making him smile slightly as he went back to taking notes of the class. “I’ve got skittles,” Sam held out the family-sized packet of sugary sweets making Riley do grabby hands towards it. Without asking Sam gave her it, earning a goofy smile from the girl. “Thank you dude but she’s literally gonna get the biggest sugar rush possible now”

“Aha, can’t wait to see that”

-

By halfway through the period Riley was already rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, on the spot next to Bucky’s chair, his hand holding hers to make sure she didn’t run up to the front and distract everyone. “Dad, are you going to work tonight?”

“Yeah munchkin, not for long though, you can stay with Stevie. How about that?”

“Yeah, m’kay”

Suddenly the professor spoke up, directing his attention to Bucky “Barnes, the symbol Sb stands for stibium or stibnite. What is the modern name of this element?”

“That doesn’t sound like English dad” Riley loudly whispered to him, making the class laugh, “and what do you think the answer is?”

The girl pondered for a second and looked at her dad with seriousness drawn upon her features “...tell me,”

-

“Laser in the house!” Clint exclaimed in excitement once everyone had found their way to the front of campus where they’d agreed to meet.

“I like lasers,” Riley gushed while smiling brightly making most of the young adults chuckle, Loki however, did not. “Why did you have to bring me?” The man grumbled, sending a death glare towards his brother.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Riley no-“

“Did you go through childhood trauma to endure this?”

“Ri’ you can’t ask-“

“Why is there a child?” Loki asked as if he had only just noticed she was there. “She is Barnes’ daughter brother” Thor said and gently patted her head, making her scowl.

“You have a daughter?”

“I’ve had her for 4 years dude”

“Oh”

Steve grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced at the time “guys we’ve gotta be there in half an hour we better get goin’”

“Alright Rogers, you really do like to keep track of time don’t you?” Tony asked and rolled his eyes making Nat nudge him in the ribs. “Tony, I’m not that old”

“You're 21, everyone else is 20 punk” Bucky teased him but stopped when he sent him a death glare. “Erm, I’m not 20.” The young girl pointed out while everyone else started making their way to the entertainment place. “Smart girl Ri’”

“Wait, do we need to decide the teams?” Bruce asked everyone once Bucky and Riley had caught up with the rest. “Ooooh,” Clint exclaimed with wide eyes “dibs on Natasha! She’s got good aim.”

“I’m gonna stick with you. Power team” Bucky whispered down to the stupidly smiling girl as she nodded furiously. By the time everyone had chosen their teammates and managed to agree, the group had arrived. “This’ll be great” Bruce sighed once they’d caught sight of the room of light-up vests with attached laser guns.

“Rules,” a middle-aged man who looked like he’d given up on life, walked into the room with a clipboard in hand “No Running, No Physical Contact, Hold Laser with Both Hands, No Climbing, Players must be careful when manoeuvring around interior arena walls, Please let us know if any of your guests suffer from the following: Asthma, epilepsy or suffer from seizures caused by fog or strobe lights.”

Everyone was quiet for a second before Steve quietly spoke up with a blush “I have asthma, sir.”

The worker took a pause and pondered for a moment, as though this had never happened in his whole 68 years of working there, “just… don’t start a fire alright?”

They all nodded in agreement, just happy that he’d been let in, and began to enter the massive room where the game was about to take place. “Right, so, let’s not rugby tackle people like you did last time,” Steve said and mostly directed it to Thor who smiled sheepishly “cause- err, there’s a kid, yeah, Riley, that’s it”

Bucky chuckled and picked up the fake laser gun as the lights began to darken, “let’s get this party started”

As soon as the words left his mouth, chaos ensured, young adults setting off running to find a place to set-up camp. As he wanted to be fast, Bucky quickly picked up Riley and began to run towards a pillar so he could hide behind it, so he’s able to get a good view of people.

“How does it work?” Riley whispered from the spot of her back pressed against his chest so she could also see and indicated towards the gun. “Gotta put your finger on the trigger” he instructed and took ahold of her index finger and brought it over to the weapon, placing the rest of her hand on the handle while her other one held the underneath of the top part, trying not to drop it.

The whole room was silent for a good 5 minutes before Bucky decided to make a move, taking hold of the collar of her jacket to gently pull her up with him. Not holding Riley’s hand as she would have ended up dropping the laser gun if she didn’t have two hands on it.

The two of them scouted out the place trying to be quiet so they didn’t get caught. Suddenly, making them jump, a loud zapping sounded in the distance, indicating that someone had found an enemy. He began to run away from the sound, after making sure his daughter was following and attempting to find somewhere to hide again but this time he didn’t find a deserted place.

“Aha!” Nat yelled and jumped out from behind a pillar while aiming the laser at Bucky’s chest. His panicked yelling and screaming filled the air as he made a run for it, completely forgetting about his teammate left behind and the rule “no running”. Suddenly, before he could brace himself his body went flying, his foot getting stuck on a stray shoe that belonged to Thor. At the same time Steve had jumped out, meaning to get the man in the chest, but instead Bucky had landed on him, using him to muffle the landing, earning an “ow man...” in return.

Bucky wanted to move, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He was in a trance, his and Steve’s baby blue eyes made eye contact, without knowing what he was doing, Steve’s body involuntarily leant up: closer to the younger man. His lips never looked more inviting, but all of a sudden a yell broke out in the room.

“Dad! Help! Nat nearly got me!”

The father scrambled up off the floor, his mind going a million miles an hour about what just happened and why it was wrong. He was his best friend. He should only see him as a friend.

Without meaning to, he ran away from him, not bothering to even spare Steve a second glance in search of his daughter, who was now cowered in one of the room's corners, trying not to get shot. Bucky chuckled slightly at the tactic and crossed the room, luckily not being noticed by Tony and Nat who were having a shoot off at each other from their opposite ends in the room.

“Nat nearly got you Ri’?”

“M’ yeah and you weren’t there.”

Guilt coursed through the mans veins as he remembered that he’d left her, but before his mind could go wondering to the events after it, he stopped himself, “sorry munchkin”

“Is’ okay, just don’t do it again dad”

He silently laughed at the sincerity in her voice and grabbed her hand to lead her away from the battle scene so they could get somebody else in the laser tag game. In quiet discussions they settled on Bruce, the one who was most likely to not be paying attention, and if he was it would still be easy to take aim without him seeing.

“Come on Ri, we got this.”

-

@donutloverxo @xolovegrace @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever

[thethistlegirlwrites]

Faebruary/Febuwhump Day 21

Prompt: Torture

(Warning for implied non-sexual nudity below the cut)

There are a lot of things people get wrong about the fae. The aversion to salt (In reality just preserved food in general), assuming they’re immortal (Just significantly longer-lived than humans) and possibly most confusingly thinking they actually have pointed ears below glamours and asking to see them.

But one thing humans definitely haven’t gotten wrong about the fae is their allergy to iron.

On days like today, Robin really wishes that was another one of the mixed-up human urban legends.

No matter how much he swipes at his skin, he can’t get all the tiny iron filings off. They burn, a cold burn like tiny fragments of ice adhered to his skin, but unlike ice they don’t eventually warm up and melt away. They’ve dug into his hands, which are swollen and almost numb now from trying to brush them away.

He huddles on the floor of the cell where he’s been dumped, torn between curling up tighter to stay warmer and the fact that if he does he’ll drive more of the tiny fragments deeper into his skin.

No one has come back in here since they stripped him and dumped the pail of shavings over him. He wonders if they’re waiting for him to snap, to beg for relief or help or something.

If so, they’ve got another thing coming. He can deal with pain.

At least for a while longer.

He jumps when the door slams open, expecting another round of misery or at the very least a demand for information he can’t give up and quite possibly never even had to begin with.

The soft, shocked “Robin?” has him looking up to see John’s worried face.

“What did they do to you?” Robin can imagine where John’s mind has gone, seeing him stripped and shivering in the corner of the room. He’s about to explain that it’s not what John thinks when he feels a jacket spread over his shoulders gently.

Under normal circumstances, that would feel amazing. But now it just drives the remaining tiny splinters on his back and the tops of his shoulders in deeper.

He jumps with a cut-off shriek and pushes the cloth away from him.

John holds up his hands placatingly. “Okay, I won’t touch you. Just talk to me, kid. If you can.”

“Iron,” Robin manages to bite out, nodding to the small heap of shavings sitting in the opposite corner. “All over.” He shivers, wanting to brush at the awful feeling on his skin but knowing that will only make this worse.

“Damn, kiddo.” John shakes his head. “We gotta get that offa you.”

“How?” Robin whimpers. He can’t imagine taking tweezers to every single bit of this that’s stuck in his skin. It’ll take forever and it’ll be humiliating on top of that.

Not that he isn’t already feeling pretty awful.

“I used to get metal shavings all over my skin grinding engine parts with Momma,” John says. “Sometimes I forgot to grab a long sleeve shirt before I started. First time I made that mistake it looked like my arms were what I took the grinder to.” He shakes his head. “Momma got most everything out with some glue and magnetizing a pair of tweezers.” He sighs. “It’s gonna suck, I won’t lie, but...it’ll be better than this.”

Robin nods. There’s no way around it, he’s going to need help, and John is his best bet.

“I just want to go home, get this off me, and forget it ever happened,” He mumbles miserably, struggling to his feet and wincing when the tiny fragments drive into the soles of them as well.

“Okay. We can do that.”

Taglist: @nade2308 @telltaleclerk  @the-one-and-only-valkyrie  @catwingsathena @asloudasalone @anguishmacgyver @flowingriver24 @myhusbandsasemni  @floh673 @teddythecat1234 @bkworm4life4 @viawrites-andacts @amarilloskies @teamimprov @febuwhump

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[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[2ofswords]

If you are still doing the kiss prompts I would love to see you write Daniil x Block with 25 (unless you hate the ship that's ok)

I’m always doing propmts! And here you go! I’ve never written this pairing but I tried my best and hope, you enjoy the fic! ^^ 

Even after everything was over, the rain wouldn’t stop. As if not even the earth’s gate but heaven’s had been opened and people forgot to close it after the great catastrophe. The earth was bleeding while heaven was crying, Dankovsky would have expected to hear from the town. Yet it remained quiet, still recovering from the disease that held it on the clasp of death and mourning the losses it had to suffer. September reached its end and with it came the time to grief and say farewell. Or at least the Bachelor wished that he was allowed that kind of luxury.

Entering the Town Hall felt familiar yet uncanny, like revisiting an old memory. One, he would have loved to bury, recalling countless sleepless nights spend fighting over arguments that lead nowhere and errands that proofed to keep him for a fool every single time. And not a lot had changed since the last time he arrived. The many adjustments and working places that had been established through the outbreak were merely left empty. It made sense when the towns own governor had been left powerless first and dead later. No one even bothered with the new arrangements. Yet there was one familiar silhouette. The only spark of life in the building being the commander, standing at his usual spot and still leaning over a map. As Dankovsky approached he noticed it did not show the towns layout but their countries borders.

“Preparing for the war?”

Block looked up for a second. The wrinkles in his brows didn’t vanish as the diligent concentration and care that were all too familiar to the Bachelor met his own questioning gaze.

“I want to make a swift decision once my troops have left this town. We have been decimated. If we don’t plan our next action carefully that would mean the end of our division.”

More lives who were at stake. Dankovsky didn’t know if he should envy or pity him. Marching straight ahead directly into the next meat grinder. These soldiers would face nothing but death one way or another. But at least he still had the means to confront it.

No. That was the wrong way of putting it. None of them had the means to fight death. They would all fall eventually. All hope has been lost the moment Block’s own canons did strike the tower. Saving hundreds of lives and condoning a thousand others. Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt. It’s nothing but a miserable endeavour and one he is quite familiar with.

“I heard that you would depart today.”

“Is that why you’re here?”

Block got up from his hunched position. Closed the map to store it in a bag he had set by his side. His eyes met Dankovsky after he finished his task. A steady gaze. Almost an hopeful one and the fact that somebody would search him for such an ounce of light at this point felt as exciting as frightening.

“I wanted to say my goodbyes in person.”

He felt himself stumble through the lines as a blush blossomed on his face. How embarrassing if not utterly inappropriate. Yet the commander managed to smile at his pitiful display. A subtle pull on his lips, barely reaching his eyes, yet his stern face lit up with warmth if only for a little while.

“A shame. I was hoping you would change your mind. We are still in need of medical personnel.”

An enticing offer. Leaving the town behind together with all of its misery. The Bachelor was very aware, he would not be able to return to the capital. Not yet. Not, when all of his hopes were lost, even if he desperately needed to. His colleagues were expecting him. He was expected to salvage the ashes of his Thanatica the same way Burakh did with the blood of the earth.

“I am needed here. Even with your orders someone has to organise the last distribution of the panacea. And with winter approaching we have to ensure no further outbreak is to happen. One single child evading our methods and it could all reappear again.”

Block let out a sigh as his smile vanished and Dankovsky felt the urge to add something to his speech, only to lighten up the Commanders mood again. To ensure that not all has been lost. Not between them. He still held the man in high regard, even after everything. He did understand his grief. Oh, how he understood this terrible situation! That is exactly why he wanted to make sure, the other one sees the sun after this bitter night.

But he heard the rain outside and envisioned the heavy clouds in the sky. No light was there to replace the stars hidden from their view. And he didn’t know where to find his own, didn’t know where to look himself much less where to guide the Commanders gaze. So he stayed silent.

“Then that’s that”, Block sighed, lifting the bag over his shoulders and sparing the Town Hall one last glance. “Would you I would highly appreciate your company on my way to the station. If you can spare the time.”

“It would be my pleasure, Commander.”

A curt not was the answer, until, suddenly the general reached out for his hand, to pull him out of the Town Hall. Daniil’s breath stuttered in his surprise and he barely managed to fight the foolish urge to pull away. Thankfully, since the touch was unexpected but not unwelcomed at all. It was hard to feel the warmth of the skin through both of their gloves. It wouldn’t have fit them anyway and the way, he got gently pulled towards the exit, the way the leather moved under his touch still felt alive. Human. Like a firm grasp of a person who was either confident or had to feign this confidence through all of their live.

Dankovsky thought that Block would let go after they left the Town Hall. That it had been nothing but a small and deniable gesture, that both of them could keep in their memory without having to properly think about it. But he didn’t and now the Bachelor’s mind is raced with the frayed edges of possibility. Thoughts of what could not be, what he had already declined. He was no man for the front. A scientist at heart and barely a doctor, much less a medic fit for the battle ground. Yet following the Commander, talking to a man made of the same spirit and pulling through together… It was a pleasant dream, if nothing but that. One he could have chosen for himself and yet had no choice but to refuse. And even while holding his hand, while grasping onto what little remains of their togetherness… Block would have never denied his decision. He would never have used a personal sentiment to convince him, that would have been beneath both of them. Still. Somewhere in him, Daniil felt the want for something more. To be told to stay with the military, even begged maybe. For Block to stop with a simple small gesture and ask him to stay. Telling him that he wants him to stay just for the sake of being himself.

Would he have considered it? Dankovsky didn’t think he would have been kind enough. Yet he managed the cruelty to long for this moment.

Even with the remnants of a connection between his fingers, walking to the station was a gruelling and quiet task. The rain poured over them as steadily and mercilessly as ever. Small tiny drops collected around the Governors lashes, as he pointedly looked away and towards the ever same houses. They were wasting time. Time he should have spent fighting the last remnants of the plague. Time they could have spent having a last talk. Time that was nothing but their lives slipping through their fingers and could never be obtained again. When will the brave commander fall? If this town didn’t defeat him, would his next battle do the trick? The day after? Would Dankovsky try to ask the train-driver foe news, ready to hear about his departure?

Maybe he should have been the one begging the Commander to stay. He might need further help with the administration here. Or an ally for his fight with the powers that be.

“How unfortunate.”

The words escaped him before he was able to stop himself.

“What?”

What isn’t, would have been the right answer. But he still felt the need to take the question at face value. To clarify. This was his only chance after all.

“That we are meant to part ways.”

They had reached the station by now. The last men, who haven’t found refuge in their carts were managing the last pieces of equipment and machinery.

“Come with me.”

The Commander’s voice was hushed and yet it crawled through Dankovsky’s skin, catching in his throat. He opened his mouth, wanted to answer, to argue probably, since he couldn’t it was completely impossible and yet –

“For a while… Just…” The Commander dragged him under the roof of the Passenger station. Even with the returning kids the rain had left it desolate. Ghostlike before but suddenly filled with meaning as the Commander cupped his face. His eyes shining with the same hope he had shown at the town hall and now, looking directly into his eyes, the glimmer ignited into a warm but fierce lantern.

“A memory. A small one. For both of us.”

It’s more of a question and Dankovsky couldn’t help but nod. Couldn’t help but reach out for the Commander. He would have loved to feel the skin, assess if it’s dry and rough or if the war had spared this part of his body. Yet he couldn’t and breaking the moment to remove his gloves would have ruined the tiny remnant of magic they managed to keep in their grasps. So he pulled the Commander towards him. There were small raindrops dripping from his hair to his cheeks as the Bachelor touched one of them with his other hand trying to be as gentle as his nature would allow him. There also were some glistening on his lip and Daniil decided, it was his personal goal to eradicate them from existence, leaving nothing but a nice but fleeting memory of this heavy but sweet moment in their stead. He always imagined the Commander’s kiss to be dry and rough, but there they were, exchanging pleasentries and tying the mutual sense of longing into one singular entity.

But it wasn’t meant to last. Of course it wasn’t. And when they parted, Dankovsky knew, that he would have to let go.

Better to do it quickly. Efficiently.

“Safe travels.”

His voice betrayed him, yet Block didn’t. He only nodded and turned to leave them both behind. The rain caught onto him, run through his hair and travelled down his coat, as Dankovsky watched him leave.

________________________________________________

Prompt: Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain. Pairing: Daniil/Block

[kaffeinic]

Caffeinic | Bang Chan

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Epilogue

Pairing: Reader x Barista!Bang Chan

Genre: Fluff // Romance

Warnings: Fem!Reader

Preamble: You’ve been going to the same coffee shop for the past four years. You’ve ordered the same thing almost every single day, and you never, ever skip on that part of your morning. So, when Mrs. Park hired a new barista and the once serene café was suddenly flooded with people every second of the day, you were less than thrilled.

You continued your routine as usual throughout the next few months. The café was still just as crowded as it had always been in the morning, so you opted to visit during the evening. You and Chan had become well-acquainted before you switched the timing of your coffee breaks.

It was late autumn, - possibly early winter - and you hugged your black trench coat close to your body, nuzzling your nose into your oversized brown scarf. The café was relatively calm at this time. You deduced it was because of the absence of a certain blonde haired gentleman. Part of you missed his unapologetically flirty attitude that you’d come to enjoy, but your priorities chose a calming atmosphere over a cute, dimply smile.

Midterms were coming up and your book bag was ripping at the seams from the weight of your textbooks. You figured you would do what you always did this time of year and sip on some coffee while you studied. When you walked through the door, you were greeted by the Park family, and - though you didn’t expect it - Chan.

“Hey there, Y/n! Are you here for some coffee?” Mrs. Park asked. You nodded and held up your book bag.

“I’m in for a long night.” You laughed at the end of your reply, but you were anything but happy to be studying tonight. Mrs. Park frowned.

“Oh, that’s a shame. I was going to ask if you’d like to join Junyoung and I. It’s his birthday today.” You looked at her son. He smiled sheepishly.

“Happy birthday! I almost forgot- I got this for you.” You dug through your book bag and handed him a small, wrapped gift. He took it and inspected the outside. “Open it!” You exclaimed. He smiled excitedly and did as you asked.

His eyes widened a little as he looked at the tiny Rilakkuma figurine. It was something you had held onto for a few months after seeing it in the store. It screamed his name. The boy was constantly decorating his bags, clothes, and laptop with the character. He shot you a genuine smile and gave you a hug.

“Thank you so much, Y/n! It’s perfect!” He admired it again and ran upstairs to put it away.

“Are you sure you can’t join us?” Mrs. Park pleaded. You smiled, but shook your head.

“I’m sorry, midterms are coming up.” You explained. She nodded in understanding and waved as Junyoung rushed down the stairs. You all said your goodbyes, Mr. Park went upstairs to his office, and you took your seat at the bar.

“It’s been a while.” You heard a familiar Australian accent. You looked up at Chan and smiled.

“Yeah, it has. How’ve you been?” You inquired. He shrugged his shoulders. You placed your book bag on the counter next to you.

“Same old, same old.” He paused. “Missing you, of course.” One side of his lips pulled up into a smirk as he laughed at his own joke.

“Yeah, yeah.” You shooed him away.

“The usual?” He asked. He had a towel in his hand as he dried a light brown coffee mug. You couldn’t help but notice how attractive the man looked in his black dress shirt with its two top buttons undone. A thick silver chain hung from his neck and a gleam of white light poked through between a gap in the fabric.

You shook your head. “Surprise me.” With that, he smiled brightly.

“Alright. I will.” He shot you that smirk of his again and got to work. You loved the smell of the café; It was always so sweet and warm. You also had become accustomed to the faint scent of Chan’s cologne. Those two scents mixed together made your heart flutter, and was why you had changed your seating choice from the corner table to the center of the bar. You hated to admit it, but it was true. “Are you going to study at home?”

You looked up with thought. “I’m not sure. The heater isn’t working, so I’ve been avoiding staying there.” You replied. Chan’s face fell.

“That’s not good. You should get it looked at.” He had genuine concern is his voice, and you saw no indication that he was trying to mock you. You nodded.

“Of course.”

“You could study here. I’m closing.” He said. You raised an eyebrow.

“Your offer is suddenly less tempting with that information.” You retorted. He feigned offense, placing his large hand on his chest. You noticed his thick silver rings.

“Well, fine then.” He said, turning back to the coffee machine.

“I’m kidding, you big baby. I think I’ll stay. I’d rather work here, where it’s warm.” You said. You could faintly see the edges of his mouth curl up at your words.

You immersed yourself into your work, flipping through pages in your biology textbook as you scribbled notes onto some college ruled paper. You would occasionally feel a pair of brown eyes on you, but you didn’t dare look up. Little did you know, Chan was staring intently at your face. At your lips, in particular. He especially liked it when you bit your bottom lip in thought.

It took him an astonishingly long time, but he finally placed a cup of hot coffee in front of you. The aroma flooded your senses and you perked up instantly.

“What is it?” You inquired.

“Your coffee.” He said. You shot him a look.

“You don’t say?” He laughed at your remark and urged you to take a sip.

“Try it.” He said.

“What’s in it?”

“Coffee, water...”

“If I drink it, will you stop?” Your fingers wrapped around the handle of the mug.

“Maybe.” You rolled your eyes, lifting the cup to your lips. “Blow on it first.” You looked up at him over the rim of the mug.

“Uh- Why?”

“I don’t want you to burn your lips.” He replied.

“Don’t you mean, ‘burn your tongue?’” You asked.

“No.” He waited, but you didn’t move. “I mean, if you want, I can blow on it for you.” He offered, smiling. You rolled your eyes for the umpteenth time, but suddenly tensed up when his face came close to yours. He blew softly on the surface of the steaming coffee, eyes slowly finding yours. You looked down.

“I’ve got it, thanks Dad.” You said, moving away. He laughed at your reaction.

“No problem, Babygirl™.” Sorry. You choked on your coffee and Chan lost it. He began laughing uncontrollably, holding onto his abdomen. You would have rolled your eyes at another one of his flirty lines, but you were caught so off-guard that you just sat there with coffee dribbling down your chin. After a moment, you wailed.

“It got in my nose!”

After a few colourful words from you and mischievous giggles from him, you were back to work. At that moment, someone new walked into the café. The bell hanging above the door chimed and both you and Chan turned your attention to the entrance.

“Welcome, sir. What can I get you?” Chan walked to the side of the counter closer to the door. The man looked at Chan, then you.

“Americano. Make it quick.” He said.

Now, what happened next really ticked you off.

The bar of the café was very large, and there were at least five extra seats on either side of you, away from your bags and yourself, not to mention the twenty or so empty tables behind you. This man, however, seemed to have never touched on the topic of personal space. He slid into the chair to your left, staring at your textbooks as if to say, “Move them.”

You internally cursed at him and slid everything you had to the right. Chan was busy making the americano the man had asked for, the sound of a coffee grinder echoing in the otherwise silent room.

“College?” The man beside you asked. You didn’t look at him, nor did you answer. You scribbled more notes in your notebook and took a sip of your coffee. He huffed.

“Don’t you know that pretty girls should smile a bit more?” He craned his head to look at your face. “Don’t be rude.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but have we met?” You raised an eyebrow. He smiled. His teeth were riddled with cavities.

“In your dreams, maybe.”

In my nightmares, is more like it. You thought.

You began packing up your bags in an attempt to be rid of this man and his foul stench, but when his hand found its way to your waist, you nearly jumped out of your skin. You wondered if Chan knew what was happening. You looked up at him to see another wet mug in his hands. He was working, not paying you two any attention. He walked behind you to scrub on the tables before closing for the night.

You pushed the man’s hand away and shoved more items into your bag. He scooted his stool closer, this time, his arm snaking around your waist. He whispered in your ear.

“Why don’t you be a good girl?” He seethed. Your eyes widened and you wondered how far this man was willing to go. There’s was no alcohol on his breath. You had hoped there was, to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was fully aware of what he was doing, and that made it even worse.

While you were caught up in your thoughts, you felt a strong hand pull the man’s off of your waist.

“She’s clearly not interested, mate.” Chan said. At that moment, you had never been so happy to have him there.

“What do you know? It’s none of your business, mate.” The man challenged him, smirking as he ripped his hand away from Chan.

The blonde boy whose eyes were usually so playful and happy were now stoic and cold.

“Get out.” Chan said. The man beside you didn’t budge.

“No. You don’t own the place.” The man’s knees brushed against your outer thigh, and you shivered, not daring to move.

“Get. Out.” Chan repeated himself, so much more malice in his tone than before. You shifted your weight on the stool, afraid of what might happen next.

~

Posted a few hours early because I couldn’t wait lol. How’s that for a cliffhanger? Sorry not sorry for that Babygirl reference lol. Smash that like button if you enjoyed~ Have a nice day!

* DISCLAIMER: I do not own any gifs/photos used in this post. I do own the written content. Do NOT repost/edit. *

🏷 @a-toxic-galaxy • @hoshithehamster

[ultraaanime]

Who do you think taught Sero how to roll?

“Who do you think taught Sero how to roll?” // College AU // Bakugou x OC

Rating: M - Warnings: Aged-up +21, Drugs (of the weed verity), Alcohol Use, Swearing, mentions and talking of sex.

WC: 2, 181

Hi! My Name is Bell, I am so new to this. This is my first thing I’ve written for My hero Academia and Bakugou, so hopefully you enjoy. I have been writing or trying to write for a while now and I haven’t really branched out into fanfic, but I thought why the hell not. My semester is pretty light, and I could totally avoid real life right now.

The title is a reference to the ridiculously funny Real Bros of Simi Valley. The O.C. I have is named Valerie Valentine, and I will probably be writing A LOT more with her, and they won’t all be AUs, I already have her quirk together, but I wanted to test the waters first. Also, Bakugou is a tiny bit ooc in this mostly because it’s a quirk-less AU and he’s also older and a tiny bit more mature. He’s still a twat though just tamed down. This is the first one-shot of a small blurb of college stories between my OC and BK.

Well, I will stop rambling, and please please enjoy! Oh! And please be kind xoxo!

***************************************************************************************************

Honestly, I can't really explain how I got myself into this current situation. I could maybe allude it being paired with the energic, loud, spunky pink-haired girl who didn't know the first thing about cellular biology in our Sophomore year, who eventually talked me into hanging out with her without mentioning anything bio-related, or maybe it's because I'm a pushover who's willing to do whatever her friends ask of her.

Either way, I can't blame anyone but myself, and in reality, it's not like it's that different than any other Friday night. Drinks, games, movies with the usual group: regular, average, and even fun. The only difference between this Friday and last, is that everyone decided to cancel. Kaminari was the first, which means Jirou wasn't coming either, then almost immediately after that, Sero bailed out as well. I tried to cancel but Mina's insistent begging, mixed with "It's not as fun when its only Kiri and the gremlin!" So really, there was no way I was going to get out of it. But I didn't see the night playing out with Bakugou and I ending up on the couch while we awkwardly drink our beer and pretend not to hear what's going on behind Mina's closed door.  

It's not like Bakugou, and I didn't like each other. It was more like we just don't talk to each other. In the few times we have its mostly just hellos or meaningless small talk that I don't think either of us remember. Truthfully, I think it just that he doesn't enjoy the fact that I'm an outsider to his very tightknit group. I mean, these guys have known each other since high school, and I'm just the random girl that Mina inserted without any question in the third semester of school. Luckily, everyone else was welcoming and genuinely excited to get to know me, but Bakugou just seemed to put off. I tried not to look into it, everyone said that that was just who he was. And it's not like I'm missing much, he's always pretty transparent when it comes to what he wants or how he feels. I don't really need to have a personal conversation with him to know that he's loud and brash and that to him everyone is absolutely shitty.

Somewhere along these past couple of months though I noticed that I notice him, and it seems I just wasn't ready to be utterly alone with him in such a… delicate situation.

The noise from the television was loud, loud enough to dim the sounds from the next room, but definitely not loud enough to drown out the awkwardness of the living room. My hands were starting to sweat, and the beer in my grasp has grown way warmer than it was five minutes ago. Sinking back into the couch, I dragged the warm bottle to my lips. I took this moment to steal a glance at the man diagonal to me only to realize he's staring. "You know I-- "the words fumbled from my lips, the bottle in my hand slid until I caught it at the neck, and my body rocketed to an upright position.

"This happens every fucking time." He cocked his neck to one side, looking over at me with half-lidded eyes. "You'd think that since they made these stupid plans, they'd at least stay apart of them."

This is weird, I feel funny, get out of this situation as fast as you can. But those red eyes of his did things to me, and this is the first time I have ever seen him take more than a glance at me. At that moment, I had such sympathy for Kaminari; short-circuiting of the brain makes it really hard for rational thoughts to form and for the brain to tell your mouth not to say stupid shit.

"In a way I'm actually kind of jealous that they fuck so much, and that they are so into each other that they don't care about leaving us out here together. I haven't had sex in like, months, from classes and labs and work, I got so caught up in everything else I kind of forgot that sex was a thing? Like I can handle myself, so, if anything, this is like foreplay for me for when I get home."

What the fuck? What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I squeezed my eyes closed, chugging the rest of my beer. There wasn't even a second of uncomfortable silence before I heard a sound, a sound that I have never heard come from him before. He was cackling. Full on, heartedly cackling.  

"What the fuck?" Bakugou laughed with full gusto, eyes tightly shut one hand on his stomach with the other holding his beer to the coffee table. "Fucking Valentine, what the hell is wrong with you." He gasped out.

For a second, I almost forgot how embarrassed I was, his laugh was so distracting. The cackle faded into light giggles, and he looked sinful and cute all at the same time. It got worse when he tipped his bottle back to his lips, all the while still looking at me.

Panicking, I reached for my bag that was thrown on the floor in front of me, grabbing it quickly and shooting up from the couch I spoke, "Okay. I think I'm just going to go. I'll text Mina when I get home." I turned slightly, and bowed to him, "Always a pleasure, Bakugou."

He threw out his arm, latching his hand around my wrist. "Why the fuck are you being so weird tonight Valentine? Its barely even ten 'o'clock, and you aren't leaving me out here alone to listen to them fuck like rabbits." He pulled my wrist down hard, making my body slam back into the couch. Landing right on the edge of the sofa, near him. So close that my clothed knee brushed his. "Plus," he leaned in, pushing my shoulders back, so I was slumped. "I know you won't get that far. I know that shitty hair is your ride home because all the shuttles stop running at nine."

Breathing out a nervous huff, "Okay." Typically, I wasn't such an awkward person, or at least I usually don't feel this uncomfortable. It's just Bakugou: transparent, loud, blunt, and angry Bakugou. The Bakugou who often doesn't even think twice about my presence. "Okay." God. What could I do in this moment not to think about how hot his knee feels pressed against mine? To make me not notice that he smells like fucking caramel and spice? Anything for me just to fucking relax and stop feeling my heart in my throat. Then, it clicked, the perfect idea to loosen up and enjoy this rare moment. I shrugged my bag off my shoulder, turning slightly to shuffle through the contents. Turning back to him with my hands full and a sly smile, I buzzed, "Do you want me to roll us a blunt while you get us another beer?"

It felt like it had been decades since I've seen that feral grin of his, and my heartbeat slowed immediately. For this split second, everything felt like it had every other time we hung out as a group, the only difference is that I proposed the idea instead of our good buddy Sero.

Shaking my grinder from side-to-side, I grab the two different cigar wraps. "Mango or tropical fruit?"

Bakugou walked around me, deciding to sit right next to me on the couch instead of the chair he was just occupying. Twisting both lids of the beer, he tossed the caps on the table, taking a quick swig out of before setting them both down. "Mango, definitely mango. I fucking hate the way the tropical tastes."

Making a mental note, I set the grinder down and opened the mango cigarillos, sliding one of them into my hand. "Can I see your pocketknife?" Without hesitation, Bakugou straightened his legs and lifted his butt to dig into his front pocket. He whipped the red plated knife, opened it, and handed it to me. Taking it in one movement, I carefully sliced a straight line from one end to another before dumping the tobacco into the ashtray on Mina's coffee table.

"I didn't realize you even knew how to roll a blunt." Glancing back over my right shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "Really, Bakugou? I've never seen you roll one either; actually, I don't think I've ever seen you take more than one hit." I refocused on the task in front of me, knowing that his face was probably red from anger and a little bit of embarrassment. I've been an awkward mess since Mina and Kiri left the room, but now that I feel a bit in my element, teasing him is a little fun.  

"Oi, fuck you. I may have never done it, but I guarantee you I can roll better than you." He lightly slapped my arm with the back of his hand, making sure not to jerk me too much. "and I don't like to do it often, not as often as you fucking potheads. It always makes it difficult to run the mornings after."

"Hmm," I mumbled and nodded my head as I licked across the top of the wrapper, sealing the bud in tight. "Grab the lighter from my bag please. And I get it, it's not your thing, but it helps me get creative and eases my anxiety. Plus, it kind of made me feel included when I first met you guys." I grabbed the lighter from his hand, lighting the pinched end. "I know that might be weird, but Kaminari and Sero were the easiest to please, and it seemed weed was the right way to do it." I turned my body sideways, folding my legs, so they laid on top of the left thigh. I held my breath for a second, making sure it was fine with him and brought the blunt to my lips when he let his arm fall over the couch on the side of me.

Sucking in the smoke and holding it for a couple seconds, I handed it to him. Puffing out the smoke towards the ceiling and not his face. Instead of responding, he immediately took his hit, coughing a little bit in the process. "It's easy to please dunce face and the other moron. I wouldn't take too much pride in it."

"Hey! I do take pride in it! You guys are a really great group of people, and I was excited to be a part of it and get to know everyone." I took another puff. "It's not my fault that they are simple creatures and are easy to talk too, unlike some people," I spoke with a small smile on my lips, hoping that he didn't take offense and saw that I was just teasing. Flirting even.  

He took the blunt from me, taking two puff back to back. "I'm not that fucking hard to talk to, and I'm fucking grateful I'm not fucking simple like those extras." He immediately started to giggle while he pulled in another drag before handing it back to me. I could help but join him. Not only because I could feel that I was a little high already, but also because he wasn't totally wrong. Now that I was loosened up and a little bit inhibited, he was comfortable and even fun to talk to too.

"Okay, okay. Enough about everyone else." I moved my legs from their folded position and straightened them across his lap. I sucked in a breath when he relaxed his other arm over my legs. "I want to get to know you. Let's play twenty questions, whoever has the blunt has to ask the questions and the other answers, good?" I asked breezily.

"Fine, let's do this shitty girl."

Bakugou and I spent the next thirty minutes, passing the blunt back and forth and asking each other different questions. It was almost surreal considering how awkward I was with him not even an hour ago, but now I am so glad I didn't leave out of embarrassment. Turns out he isn't as transparent and angry and harsh as I thought, and it seemed that deep down this boy was soft. And now I am so much more fucking soft for him.

Bakugou took in the last hit before cashing the roach in the tray. Leaning towards me until our faces were close together, he said with a sly smirk "I will say, and remember this because I will never compliment you or that fucker again, but you rolled that blunt way fucking better than Sero, and he rolls a decent blunt."

I moved in closer, so that our noses brushed together, my breath hitched as a giggled out, "Who do you think taught Sero how to roll?"

"You aren't bad, Valentine, not bad at all." He pulled away and settled back into the couch, his hands gripping my calves. "Roll another."

So I did.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Ethanol”

Hope you guys enjoy, feel free to send me messages, comments, critiques, ideas, and prompts :)

“So, do you guys mind telling me where we’re going?”

Sitting in the back seat of the human vehicle, snug inside his test tube he watched as Captain Vir’s three brothers exchanged grins turning down another long-dark roadway as the last rays of the setting sun sunk behind the mountains.

Today had been cold, very cold, but sunny. The distant star had lit the snow on fire making it nearly impossible to look at as it sparked and winked from out the window. Krill still couldn’t fathom how human survived on such a hostile planet, but to each his own he supposed.

They pulled up another roadway, “Little brother, it has come to our attention that we have committed an egregious oversight of brotherly protocol.”

Vir tapped his fingers against his arm impatiently, “And, what is that?”

They turned up another street lit on either side by glittering storefronts and a single glowing neon sign.

Vir glanced out the window and groaned, “No guys, seriously.”

The car pulled into a parking lot, “Yes seriously, come on, last time you were home for an extended period of time, you weren’t old enough to drink.”

Thomas, the second youngest brother, elbowed him playfully in the ribs, “And, I hear ladies drink free on Saturdays.”

Vir moaned and dropped his head against the seat in front of him.

Jeremy turned around, “Come on little bro, don’t tell me you’re still afraid of girls.”

Vir crossed his arms angrily, “I am not AFRAID of girls. I just…..”

“Just what? Come on Adam, have you ever even kissed a girl?”

He crossed his arms, “You know in all the commotion of, I don’t know, being famous I completely forgot.”

They eyed him from the front seat, “How about guys because we can…”

Vir glowered from his spot in the back seat, “I want to make out with another guy as much as I want to make out with you, and I would rather eat off my other foot than kiss you.”

Krill watched confusedly from the back seat. He didn’t know what a lot of these words meant. Drinking clearly meant something more than its usual meaning, and he wasn’t particularly familiar with making out or kissing. No one had bothered to explain that to him. Though the indication that human females might be here made him curious. As far as he knew, humans didn’t have a mating season, so he wasn’t exactly sure how the two groups met each other.

Jeremy popped open his door flooding the car with light, and with protesting Vir was dragged from the car with Krill in tow. “If mom finds out what we are doing, than we are so dead.”

David frowned at him, “You’re not going to go n’ tattle on us, are you.”

Vir locked his lips angrily shut and followed his brothers into the warm- stuffy and mildly cramped room. The volume was raised to a dull roar as music played in the background, and humans laughed raucously. Vir set down the container and let Krill out. Krill kept at the man’s feet as they moved across to the bar through a sea of bodies.

All around humans held drinks. They were louder and even more aggressive than usual.

Was their coordination off?

The oldest brother Jeremy leaned himself up against the bar. Vir followed with a grimace sliding in next to his brother and helping Krill to stand on a stool. By now they had attracted the attention of most of the bar, and the room suddenly went silent. “Hey, Adam.” An older man waved at them from across the room. Vir grimaced and gave a small wave. The man turned to the rest of the bar, “Well don’t just stand there goggle-eyed, clap for the man. Not every day you get to thank a man for his service in a space war.”

The bar erupted in sudden cheers, and Vir grimaced even harder a tinge of red sneaking into his neck. Krill examined the humans close by picking out the females. One of them smiled at Vir from down the bar. The red on his neck rocketed up into his face, and he turned away hurriedly.

“Captain? What is this place?”

Instead of the Captain, Jeremy answered, “This my fine four-legged friend, is an establishment of debauchery and good times.” The bar tender had moved across to where they were standing.

“Four Flaming Dr. Peppers please.”

Vir rolled his eyes, “Come on Jeremy. Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Yes, while we’re sober.”

The bartender eyed them, “You’re not going to try to drink it WHILE it’s on fire are you?”

Jeremy frowned, “it’s like you think I’m stupid or something.”

The man shook his head alright. He came back with his tools and krill watched mesmerized as the man filed tiny glasses with various liquids and then a larger glass about halfway. He didn’t expect what happened next as he began lighting the surface of the small glasses on fire. He jumped back a bit nearly falling off the bar stool but Vir steadied him. The female humans were still watching from the side and Vir seemed to be trying very hard to ignore them.

By the time the drinks were ready the man seemed desperate for a distraction. Together the brothers lifted the flaming shots into the air as a toast, extinguishing the flame and dropping them into the larger cups before downing the contents in a single go. Krill looked on in shock and horror.

Why did humans always have to light things on fire? It seemed excessive and very unnecessary.

They dropped the glasses back onto the counter with the older brother ordering another round of drinks.

“How do you light in on fire?” Krill wondered, only to learn that the drinks contained ethanol, which was actually a type of poison that could cause severe change in mental status in humans as the body desperately tried to rid itself of the poison. Symptoms were supposed to include confusion, reduction in motor function, blackouts, upset stomach, and a lack of reasoning sills.

The humans were drinking poison to celebrate?

As the night grew darker, this only became more and more clear. The four human brothers slowly grew louder, more rowdy and less coordinated. Krill was nearly knocked off his stool on more than one occasion. As the shortest, Thomas was the first to exhibit slurred speech, flirting hopelessly with the group of humans down the bar. They laughed at him, and allowed for his antics, but he was much too drunk for them to interact with him.

An already animated person, Vir grew even more animated with reduced brain function. By then he had a small group of people gathered around him as he old stories of his exploits in space. Krill was pretty sure most of it was heavily exaggerated, as he didn’t recall any twenty foot tall alien pirates that had attempted to take their ship. However, inebriation didn’t make him any better with the female humans, and as soon as one sidled close, he nearly fell off his chair, and made some lame excuse about needing to pee before stumbling away towards the bathroom.

Krill kept his spot on his stool. The bartender leaned against the counter next to him and in that curious way that humans had, he offered krill a drink, and asked him where he was from. Krill declined the drink, but the human seemed to have all his senses intact.

In fact many of the humans came up to talk with krill. It was a terrifying and fascinating experience. All the filters and locks a human kept on themselves was completely gone under the influence of alcohol. They said the stupidest things and asked the dumbest of questions.

The night was going mostly fine, until one of the humans approached. He was large, and he was sloshed, and he was mad. He started by immediately jabbing a finger at krill “Alien scum.” He slurred, “Go back to space where you belong. We don’t want you here, illegal.”

Krill pressed himself back against the bar, “I…. I don’t.”

The man ignored him and stalked closer jabbing a finger at him, “Earth should never’ve joined the gala’tic ‘lliance. Alien filth.”

He spit towards krill who barely dodged out of the way.

And suddenly Vir was there standing between the two of them, “Back off.” He growled fighting against the slur in his own voice. Krill backed onto the bar, and the bar tender hesitantly moved towards them.

The man jabbed a finger into Vir’s chest, “This is your fault. You brought those alien ****S here.”

Vir slapped the man’s hand aside, “Don’t touch me.” He growled

The man sneered at him, and jabbed his finger towards him harder, “And what are you going to do, gimpy.” He glanced around him towards krill, “I’m comin’ fer you next.”

And then Vir clocked him in the jaw.

Krill yelped, and was swing behind the bar by the bartender as the room erupted into chaos. Vir was only able to land the one good punch before things went right to hell.

One of the man’s other friends must have noticed, and came to help his friend. The drunken brawl escalated as Vir was thrown to the floor with a hard sock to the cheek, and his brothers came to his aid. Screaming and yelling defined the room as Krill hid behind the bar watching as the room became the whirling blades of a meat grinder.

The bartender had a phone in his hands seconds later, and before they knew it, the room was bathed in blue and red flashing lights.

No less than four uniformed humans came marching into the room. Krill was stunned and in admiration as the fearless humans broke up the brawling pairs on by one throwing them onto the floor, using energy cuffs and shackles. One man was forced into a spinal block paralyzing him to the floor as he yelled profanities at the uniformed peacekeepers.

Vir, Jeremy, Thomas and David were the last to be extracted from their fight. Vir looked very close to passing out with a black eye. One of the other brothers had bleeding knuckles, and all of them were very very drunk.

Angry yelling ensued as the officers tried to figure out who had attacked first.

A quick look at the security camera showed that while Vir had thrown the first punch, the other man had made aggressive contact beforehand. Krill and the bartender put in their two cents as the four brothers sat on the floor with the rest of the crowd, cuffed in energy restraints. The man who had made the aggressive move was still yelling, and that may have helped to make him appear more the aggressor.

“Sorry…. Officer.” Vir slurred, “I…. “Shake his head, “Are we going to jail?”

The lead officer paused, ‘No, not today, but only because you haven’t given us any additional trouble, however, I AM going to do something potentially worse than that.”

The brothers looked worried and confused.

From his pocket, the officer withdrew his cellphone and dialed a number. He had to wait a good few minutes before, “Hello, Mr. Vir….”

The brothers immediately began protesting begging the cop to take them to jail. Krill was fascinated from where he stood by the bar.

“Yes, I have your boys here….. yeah, involved in a drunken bar fight…. Yeah it know its 12:30. You can take them, or I can….. I just thought you might want to deal with them yourself…. Yeah…. Yeah…. No, they’ll be waiting for you.”

By then the brothers had gone very, very silent heads hanging low as they waited. The rest of the drunken group was uncovered and sent off home before a car door slammed shut outside. The brothers cringed down as Mr. Vir stormed inside wearing a winter coat, blue striped pajamas, and a pair of his work boots. Dark purple bags sagged under his eyes as he marched up to his progeny.

Krill scooted behind the bar filled with sudden fear upon seeing the look in the man’s eyes. Even more afraid than he had been during the fight.

“You ABSOLUTE MORONS waking your mother and I up in the middle of the night for your shenanigans You absolutely DISGRACEFUL useless bag of ingrates.” This continued for a long while individually laying into them before finishing with Vir, “And you,” is voice grew quiet, “I thought you knew better, after all you’ve done, after what you represent, and here you are. Sitting on a bar floor drunk…. Your mother and I are.” He paused, “Very disappointed.”

The room was dead silent. Krill had no real desire to come out at that moment. It’s one thing to have a human attack you or yell at you or even each other.

But the most painful thing a human can do to you, or each other, is to express their disappointment.

[solomonara]

“Don’t Call It Spa Night” Cake

So I’ve been reading The New Prometheus, a Jason-Todd-keeps-coming-back-to-life series by Zoeleo. Part of what makes this fic great is the detailed writing, which extends to specific mentions of different meals the characters eat over the course of the fic. And when Jason Todd shows up to spa night (sorry, ‘Self-Care Saturday’) with Earl Grey-infused cupcakes...

“Uh, the batter is an Earl Grey infusion and there’s lemon zest in the icing. They were an experiment. An homage to Alfred, kind of.”

Experimenting with baked goods? I may not be able to fanart, but I can definitely show my appreciation for a fic with experimental baked goods. Here’s what I came up with. It’s under a cut because it’s a long recipe - but not hard, I promise!

(My sincere apologies if you’re on mobile, which will both fuck with the formatting and eliminate the Keep Reading cut...)

Oh, did you notice that’s not a cupcake? I hate making cupcakes. Who the hell has time to carefully pour batter into 24 cups, decorate 24 individual tiny cakes, and then wash a fucking cupcake pan with all its little pockets of hidden stickiness... ugh, no, you get cake and you’ll like it.

Ingredients for cake:

White cake mix (It was late and I didn’t feel like measuring dry ingredients)

1/2 c butter, very soft

1 1/4 c milk (you can get away with using water, if you need to)

2 - 6 tbs Earl Grey tea (I used loose leaf, but you can use tea bags if you need to. The amount will vary depending on how much you like tea - I’ve made my recommendations in the recipe steps)

5 egg whites (or 4 whole eggs would probably be fine)

1/4 tsp vanilla

1/4 c sugar

1/4 c water

Ingredients for icing:

3 c powdered sugar

1/3 c butter, softened

3 SCANT tbs lemon juice

1/2 tsp lemon zest

^^^ me acting like I know what I’m doing. Remember kids, it’s not science unless you write it down!

Optional: cup of brewed tea, which helps cut down on swearing while you try to figure out where your egg separator went.

Steps:

I’ve written these out in more detail than you probably need - I always try to write for beginners, so I’ve put the basic instruction by the bullet point and then included more detail in the paragraphs underneath each point (to make them easily skippable if you don’t need clarification). If you have questions feel free to ask!

Prep work:

Heat 1 1/4 c milk in a small saucepan. When it’s hot, steep 1 to 3 tablespoons of tea in the milk for 3 to 5 minutes The amount of tea you use depends how much you like Earl Grey and how stale your tea is - if it’s pretty old, you might want to use more. 1 tbs will give you a very delicate, barely-there Earl Grey flavor. 3 tbs will give you... more.

Tea making advice that will serve you well in life: Steeping black teas for longer than 3 minutes doesn’t give you stronger tea. It gives you bitter tea. If you want stronger tea, add more tea leaves or another tea bag, don’t just leave your tea in the water the whole time you’re drinking it. The timing is less important when using the tea in recipes like this one, though, since the sweetness of the cake will cut the bitterness (as will brewing the tea in milk).

Strain the leaves out of the milk and set the milk aside to cool. You want it to be room temperature before adding it to the other ingredients so it doesn’t cook your eggs. Press the leaves in the strainer to squeeze out all the nice tea-ish juices.

Pro tip: Straining your tea milk into a giant Harry Potter mug will make it taste better.

Set oven to 350 (Fahrenheit, please)

Grease and flour your cake pans. I used two 9 inch rounds, but this will do fine as a 13x9 sheet cake or as cupcakes if you hate yourself for some reason.

Dump about a tablespoon of loose tea in a small food processor, spice grinder, magic bullet, or mortar and pestle. Grind it fine. You need a teaspoon of this stuff and it’s going straight into the batter so you don’t want the grain too large unless you don’t mind chewing on tea leaves.

The Cake:

Separate your eggs and add the whites to a large mixing bowl. If, like me, you suddenly realize that you don’t own an egg separator, don’t panic. Crack the egg on the side of your mixing bowl and pull apart the two halves of the shell without tipping the egg out of them. Gently transfer the yolk from one shell half to the other, letting the egg whites run out into your mixing bowl. If you get a little yolk in with your whites, don’t worry. You’re not making a meringue, so this is not a disaster. When you’re finished juggling the yolk and have most of the white extracted, dump the yolk in a separate bowl. When you’ve done all 5 eggs stick the yolks in the fridge. Intend to make custard with them later. Wake up tomorrow morning to discover you forgot to put a little water in the bowl and the yolks are now WEIRD looking and congeal-y. Throw the yolks away.

Add the butter to the egg whites and beat together.

Add the tea milk and 1/4 tsp vanilla and stir

Add your superfine ground tea and the cake mix and beat on medium speed for two minutes. Depending on the size of your mixing bowl you may want to add the dry mix gradually.

When it’s well combined, it’ll be pretty drippy:

Yum!

Pour it into your pans and bake ~25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. My pans are very dark, so my cakes tend to cook faster - you may need more time, or, if you went the cupcake route, considerably less time.

Cool the cakes for about 10 minutes before turning them out onto wire racks to cool the rest of the way.

General cake-baking tip: If you have room, sticking your cakes into the fridge or freezer for a few minutes right when they come out of the oven will keep them moist.

Syrup and Icing:

Next you’re going to make a syrup to brush on your cakes when they’re cool. I straight-up stole this idea from Liv for Cake, but we’ll need way less of it since this is a smaller cake. You’ll notice I linked you to her recipe for Earl Grey cake, which is slightly different from this one, but hey, if you hate mine now you have another option to try :)

Btw, the syrup step doesn’t really apply to cupcakes, if that’s the route you chose to go. I mean, unless you WANT to paint 24 individual little pains-in-the-ass with sticky syrup, in which case, be my guest.

So, for the syrup:

Bring 1/4 c sugar, 1/4 c water, and 1 1/2 tsp Earl Grey to a boil in a small saucepan I actually used a full tablespoon of Earl Grey here because I forgot what I was doing. Tasted fine! If you like tea.

It’s actually kind of pretty in person, I’m just bad at photos.

When the sugar is dissolved and the mixture is boiling, turn off the heat and strain the syrup to get all the crunchy tea bits out. Let it cool completely.

While your syrup and cakes are cooling, it’s a good time to make your icing! My old standby for lemon buttercream is actually just a Betty Crocker recipe that you can find right here.

In this case, though, I wanted it to be a little more delicate so as not to overwhelm the flavors in the cake. That’s accomplished easily enough - just use a little less lemon juice and make up whatever extra moisture you need in the icing with milk until it’s a nice spreadable consistency.

Also, you might want to add a touch of yellow food coloring to the icing for the look of the thing, especially if you have nothing else to decorate the cake with, because this icing basically just turns out plain white.

Assemble your cake!

When the cakes and syrup are completely cool, it’s assembly time.

Take the thicker cake round and place it on whatever surface you’re storing your cake on. Lop off the hump (unless you’ve managed to make a perfectly flat cake, in which case, what are you reading this blog for? You’re clearly a wizard and should be out profiting from that with your own wizard bakery.)

Brush that layer with your syrup. When it’s soaked in a little, cover your sins with a very thin layer of icing. This is going to be frustrating because, since you lopped off a chunk of this layer to make it level, all these crumbs are gonna wanna roll up and mess up your icing. Let ‘em. That’s why they call this a crumb layer. Get a thin, thin coating on there and then stick this layer in the fridge for a few minutes - since we’re working with buttercream here, it’ll set up nicely and make the next layer of icing go on more easily.

Add a second, thicker layer of icing, then pop the next cake layer on top. Do the same with the syrup, marvel at how much easier it is since you didn’t have to expose this layer’s innards, and then go to town with the rest of the icing.

Voila! An extremely boring-looking cake. Alas, all I had in the cupboard in the way of decoration were Christmas sprinkles, so we’re gonna say it’s minimalist and call it a day (also it was like, midnight by this point, and I was Done.)

Pair with slow-burn fic with lots of feels.

Congrats on making it to the end of this long-winded recipe. If you have any questions, feel free to hit my ask box!

[rgr-pop]

since things are rolling again, I’m gonna list some kitchen “renovation” budgeting stuff like I promised I’d do ages ago. costs of making a nicer kitchen are behind this cut!!

here are the things we’ve spent money on to make our kitchen usable and liveable (and beautiful), not all of which were conceptualized as part of this “remodel,” which started in the summer of 2016. I have receipts for most things but truly am just going from memory so we’ll see.

we have never saved up for anything in a large sum, rather we bought big ticket items when a good sale coincided with a cushier month, so we have paid for things in chunks and then installed them as we’ve been able to. about half of the cabinets and the dishwasher came out of the extremely modest money my mother “left” for me (befriended a life insurance salesman who gave her a small policy that she should not have been permitted, lol.) hashtag money diaries lol

I also want to say that we’re not throwing out a ton, and almost everything we are getting rid of is basically extremely unfunctional/making my life a living hell. When it comes to appliances and stuff like that, I'm not willing to replace things that still work. I’m not trying to preach but I also absolutely do not want to contribute to a mood of wastefulness or aesthetic obsolescence. I live in an old house that was a rental for most of the twentieth century, this kitchen was on the very low end of “usable.” Most of the things that I am getting that I wanted versus needed were things that the kitchen didn’t already have. 

While nothing here is at all expensive for what it is, none of it is the cheapest, either. In almost every case, unless it’s an actual emergency, I’m not going to buy anything that’s not exactly what I want and need, which has meant mostly just waiting fucking years to find anything, lol. I can’t change!

cabinets:  I tore out the barely-functioning base cabinet we had in order to make room for a dishwasher, but kept the old steel sink base cabinet, and picked out ikea cabinets to “match” it. this has been an adventure, and like all old house shit, requires a ton of...innovation. it would have saved us a lot of grief to let it go but I couldn’t, and I will not apologize. we’re also getting rid of a wall cabinet that currently sits above the stove to hold the microwave and ninety years of grease, and moving the microwave to the pantry. we’re tearing down the wall cabinet above the counter, which is actually just shelving that had at some point been “enclosed” with “drawer fronts” (boards on hinges). 

in all, we replaced these things with a fifteen inch ikea base cabinet including four drawers, which has been installed, and a thirty inch wall cabinet with shelving and very few bells and whistles, which has not been installed. I think the base was around $200, but I believe I paid quite a bit more on top of that for soft close dampers, but I can’t figure out how much that was! included in that cost were the extendable, more expensive drawers, and mid-range drawer fronts, so you could definitely pay quite a bit less if you choose different options. I wouldn’t get the soft close drawers again but Lucas likes them so they’re fine, but I would definitely recommend the more expensive drawer option for stability and to maximize your space. As for the drawer fronts, I actually kiiind of wish I had gotten the more expensive high gloss white because I just really like them and the ones we got don’t match the steel cabinet as well as I was expecting, but I’m going to live with it for a while and see how I feel. The wall cabinet was around $150, including the panel that goes on the exposed edge of the thing. We also got a stainless steel toe kick, which I believe was $20 and was a big impulse because we could have made our own* I just wanted it and its convenience! I’ll throw that into an “extras” category that includes the suspension rod, drawer hardware template, hinges and shit that I can’t remember if it was included in the base cost, and we’ll call that another $100 to be safe.

*to accommodate the old steel cabinet and extra heavy countertop, there is a tiny bit of extra framing on the base cabinet that will need to be covered by another, parallel aluminum strip, which will cost us like... a small fraction of the cost of the toe kick.

I also have spent a good deal of money on organization pieces for those drawers, because I needed to maximize having only that fifteen inches for storage, and because we all know that’s where ikea excels anyway. This is very much nothing more than “live your best life” bullshit but I have pretty strong and learn-ed feelings about how you should consider choosing interior organization bullshit in a sea of organizational bullshit if you ever wanna hear ‘em! But I ended up with flatware dividers, a similar divider for small utensils, a nice set of dividers for organizing knives, a large clip-in drawer divider and glass drawer sides, and that cost me a good $50 over the course of two years, but I think my setup is reaaaally efficient, easy, clean, comfortable and safe! I want to eventually plan the interior of the under-sink steel cabinet in a similar way, really for my own satisfaction, but that is not a priority yet and I haven’t priced anything out or planned it.

I have not bought hardware for the cabinets yet, but I have “budgeted” $40 to source (probably, I’m thinking of changing my mind) the same chrome handles that the steel cabinet had, to put on all the new cabinets and replace the old ceramic hardware on the hoosier cabinet.

the hoosier cabinet! even though I bought this before I thought I’d be doing anything at all to the kitchen, it’s going to be doing a lot of work (going against a wall whose corner is too narrow to have any built-in cabinets), so I should include it. I can’t really remember but I think I paid... let’s say $160. I think it was less than that but we’ll go with that. Very little money has gone into making it nicer, just work.

I will throw in our pantry wire shelving too, while I’m here, even though we also bought that before. I would die for it. I think? it cost about $100.

So all in, cabinetry and storage is looking like a total of $800, but some of that is actually just furniture.

counter:  We’re pretty much all in for $300, which is unbelievable. It’s something I never could have begun to imagine, how expensive any counters are. The majority of that is actually labor, because we paid movers to help install it. (It’s 200 pounds and could break if dropped.) The rest of the cost includes interior framing and mold framing, the nice cement and pigment (which we still have for future projects), some layout of tools (which we have for future projects), and that cost also includes a first try that failed! We could have cut that cost in half if we had friends to help us carry it! I really can’t believe it!

appliances: The fridge and beautiful gas stove are staying. I bought a dishwasher for $400. It’s installed. We recently bought a range hood (!) on a really good sale (it’s nice), but we both already forgot if it was $300 or $400, let’s round up to $400. Installing it is the next step, and we haven’t bought the ductwork (although it’s traveling a short distance) or anything, and he needs to buy a tool that punches circle holes in the wall. I feel optimistically we can install it, then, for another $100. This installation is also going to involve a lot of wiring, and we’re moving a gas line at the same time so we can move the stove, so we’ll see. Unfortunately we also have to get a new sink because the one we have, which I was planning on keeping, was a casualty, and we have a narrower selection of options because of the thickness of the counter, it’s this whole deal, but the good news is we’re at least basically upgrading to a nicer and cooler sink? $200 and that is wishfully including a new faucet (which I’m not going to get for a long time anyway because it’s not as urgent), and any extra plumbing costs. So we’ll say $1000 in appliances which I still fucking hate to even conceptualize :|. But these two things are huge huge huge huge quality of life improvements for me, because of how much my... brain patterns... about kitchen cleanliness... were actually unhinging me entirely... and also oh my god? People don’t spend hours doing dishes????

In the next year I’d love to also buy an entry-level juice bitch juicer and a burr grinder, but I don’t know if I will, and I would LOVE a nicer toaster, which I might ask for for christmas hashtag money diaries

So we’re about $2200 in and have paid for most of the worst of it, and all of the above are all the parts that make the kitchen run. Everything henceforth is speculative.

floor: I’ve finally found something I can almost commit to, but this is going to be one of the last things. We’re going to do the kitchen, pantry, and the landing to the basement, and I am expecting complications, but I believe we can do it for under $400. I’ve never done it before though, so this might be super optimistic! Or Way over! I dunno! I can definitely settle for cheaper-per-square-foot tile, and think I have found some I love, but I want this to be very beautiful overall. The vinyl we have can definitely get us through for a while.

lighting:

I’ve figured out what I’m looking for, but haven’t figured out where to find it yet. I am imagining a budget higher than this needs to be, just because I’d love something extra nice and beautiful, so I’m going with $100.

walls, backsplash, finishing and ceiling:

I’m just doing porcelain grid here, so the cost per unit will be low, but... I wanna tile a LOT of area. Like instead of just the backsplash behind the counter, maybe... the entire wall behind the counter? Like a whole fucking wall??? I have tile madness. This is very nearly the last thing, so I may talk some sense into myself. But I REALLY wanna. I’m reasonably sure I can cover that in tile for like $35 and I could save money by using the same grout I use for the floor, but who knows. I need a backsplace, possibly to entirely re-trim the window on that wall (or at least fix it up), to address and replace some wonky molding around the door ways, and possibly install tile baseboards or something need like that, plus some aluminum trim here and there around the steel cabinet, something for a stove backsplash (possibly handmade metal) and some handmade hooks and things, we’ll paint, finesse the ceiling, and I’m betting you we can do all of this for $200. There is one final thing. when the stove is in its new spot, I want a narrow kitchen cart/butcher block to fill the gap next to it. We’ve looked at some retail and they’re all cheap and nearly never combine an enclosed drawer (for optimal spice storage) with a wire rack base, so we’ve planned a way to “make” (combine parts into) the perfect one, and this will not cost us $200, probably.

and then I secretly kinda wanna make some curtains out of feed sacks....

:)

[keevansixx]

Nowhere...

  Yesterday, I died. It just happened, no rhyme, no reason, the vessel that housed me stopped working. This mortal coil shed, like a serpent leaving behind a dried out skin snagged on a twig in an old forest. I feel nothing, no cold, no pain, no hunger nor thirst....I am, yet I am not...

What they don't tell you anything about dying in books, religious dogmas, and human mythology, is that there is no time in death...well, there is a sort of sense of time, but there is no way to measure it, quantify it, give it a steady pace to determine a forward progression the living rely on so much. If I concentrate hard enough I could watch myself die, very slowly, repeatedly over a long span, or just that brief spark when I stopped breathing, and everything grew still around me in the dimension of the living.

 I spend a span of moments doing this....traveling forwards and backwards along a strand of time, visiting small snippets of my former life. All the happy moments, pausing for some span at the faces and places I had long forgot. I see my mother, young, happy, pregnant with what was me, sitting in a chair and humming softly at her belly...her hand tracing lazy circles around the little footprints I was pressing into the sides of her womb while she whispered her dreams of whom she hoped I would become. I see my father, young, in fatigues fighting a useless war in a foreign land, joking with his buddies about the girls back home, while he stares at a laminated photo of me my mother mailed to him...I see him kiss the picture, then say "my son..." as he holds it to his chest. I see my grandfather's smile the first time he held my infant form cradled in his arms. I travel to and fro, seeing all that had transpired in my life, and all the little things I missed as I lived. If it were even possible to cry in the afterlife, I couldn't tell....just the wash of emotions both happy and sad without the mechanisms to adequately express them.

I grow bored after awhile, so I move backwards seeing history rewind, pausing at all the interesting bits, and learning all the truths that historians got wrong, or misinterpreted, or just plain lied just to make a name for themselves, or support the dogma of the day. I hear other voices out here in oblivion as they too travel to and fro observing what was, have been, or will ever be....sometimes we converse, discussing a moment trying to get to the truth of it all, but mostly we move along our paths with nary a notice each of passing.

I travel forwards, seeing all that will be...amazed at some things, horrified by others, sad, happy, and phantom scratching at what I assume to be the equivalent of my head. The future for us is unwritten, you see.... constantly changing, and only becomes tangible when their moments have passed into history. I answer some questions as best I can from those future souls inquiring about my small tiny piece of time. In exchange, they tell me bits and pieces of their journeys and what will be....not necessarily equivalent exchange, as the souls I encounter from the future are numerous and constantly in flux with their outcomes not entirely set in stone...

existence, for me, passes....time to move on.

I'm just hovering in nothing....to my right a passageway that looks warm and inviting. To my left, a passageway that looks stark, cold, and ominous. I hear voices from each hallway, and take my time investigating each corridor. After some length, I surmise that each corridor is the human equivalent of heaven or perdition. I am given a choice....left or right, hell or nirvana, order or chaos....

They each make their case...opening their gates wide waiting for me to enter. It feels like a trap, either way....but I listen. One side offers peace, tranquility, bliss but no ambition, no creativity. It's the end reward of the final level of a lackluster game and you only made a passing score. The other side offers ambition and challenge, but at the total lack of joy, compassion, love, or any other of the rewards that would motivate someone to grow. It's a Korean grinder, and the rewards follow a law of diminishing returns so I would be stuck in an endless loop for an eternity or more. 

I'm drawn towards the right passage...I was raised theist, and everyone wants to go to heaven, at least that is what all the dogmas would have you to believe,  but I pause....it looks peaceful, serene, not like the cover art of the Led Zeppelin album "houses of the holy" all many steps and columns, and most tranquil. It looks like whatever I most want in the universe in smaller scale....hollow, steadfast, but never changing. The set pieces are permanent, and I'm just expected to exist and be happy forever.

I amble back to the void to ponder my choices, left or right. I float forward towards an impossibly massive wall, all the while contemplating the pros and cons of either choice. The wall is neither of substance, nor form, but it exists none the less. My fingers slide across it's surface, feeling the texture as I float and ponder. This goes on for some time until my fingers find the tiny beginning of a crack....

I float along the tiny fissure within the unblemished surface of the wall, and as I float upwards following the crack, my fingers notice the changes as I travel upwards, growing larger and larger the farther I travel along. I could not discern the distances involved, but it felt like a very long time, all the while the crack growing ever wider and wider until I could no longer feel the sides between my arms. I stop.....before me is nothing....no lights, no sound, nothing...and being the curious child I ever was, started floating forwards into this new void.

a voice speaks out in the darkness "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? AFTER ALL, THE CHOICES WERE TAILORED TO FIT YOUR NEEDS... "

wait...what?!

"SERIOUSLY...THERE IS NO GOING BACK AFTER THIS..."

Ok.....who is this?

"WHOM DO YOU THINK THIS IS?"

*rolls what passes for eyes* duh....why do you think i'm asking? You tell me...

"I'VE HAD MANY NAMES...WHICH ONE WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO BY?"

Ummmm.....is this god?

"MAYBE....MAYBE NOT. IT'S HARD TO KEEP A NAME IN ALL EXISTANCE, THINGS ARE ALWAYS CHANGING, IN FLUX, BUT IF IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER...YOU CAN CALL ME GOD IF YOU WANT TO..."

yeeeeeahhh, this is a little too much to believe right at the moment....

"TAKE YOUR TIME....IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GOING ANYWHERE."

It's so dark...why can't I see you?

"BECAUSE....I HAVN'T BEEN CREATED HERE YET. TELL YOU WHAT, JUST HOLD YOUR HAND UP, AND SNAP YOUR FINGERS FOR A BIT....I PROMISE YOU IT WILL BE WORTH IT.....GO ON."

yeah....yeah.....sure. I hold up my hand in the void, and snap my fingers a few times. After each snap, a small light, like a pinprick, starts to grow, shedding light into the area I exist in. Growing larger and larger till the light fills the space, and everything there is revealed. From the center of the light I hear the voice again...sounding more directional and focused than it was mere moments ago.

"NOW THAT WASN'T HARD NOW...WAS IT?"

well....no. but I'm not sure just what exactly did I do.

"CREATION..."

what?

"CREATION...YOU MADE SOMETHING FROM NOTHING. GIVE YOURSELF A LITTLE PAT ON THE BACK, MOST THINGS DON'T MAKE IT THIS FAR..."

ok...now i'm really confused....I just did what you told me to do.

"IF YOU HAD DONE WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO, YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A CHOICE BACK AT THE GROTTO, AND WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS PARTICULAR CONVERSATION, NOW WOULD WE?"

heh, well you do have a point....now what?

"CREATE SOME MORE...."

create? what would I create?

"ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING YOU DREAM, ANYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE....HAVE FUN."

wait...wait...wait....hold on one sec. You mean if I imagine there is a tiny beagle puppy named snoopy sitting there at my feet, it's just going to magically appear? at which point the puppy appears with a little golden nametag dangling from it's collar, and yapps excitedly while wagging it's tail...I pick it up, and it licks my face lovingly as I realize I now have a face, and I feel the puppies slobbery tongue caress my wet cheek.

ok....this is a bit too much, don't cha think? I mean, I can feel myself and that should be impossible because I'm dead. There is a puppy here that wasn't here before and that in itself should be impossible, but there it sits.....and just when did this dirt plain appear? this is all so crazy!!! I'm going insane....that has to be it....i'm loosing my marbles from floating out here alone for so long.

"YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, THE PUPPY IS REAL, AND EVERYTING APPEARED BECAUSE YOU WISHED IT TO BE....ANYTHING ELSE YOU MAY BE CONFUSED WITH?"

yeah.....i'm confused with everything, I don't know where I am, what I am, how all this can be. I know that I used to be a average dude, living in the woods, loving life, dealing with stuff, and trying to be the nicest, honest, caring person I could ever be.....I often failed, but for the most part, at least I tried, and that has to count for something, right?

"HMMMM, WELL... WHO YOU ARE IS WHO YOU CHOSE TO BE. WHERE YOU ARE, IS WHERE YOU ALWAYS WERE OR ALWAYS WANTED TO BE, BUT EVEN THAT CAN BE CHANGED IF IT IS WHAT YOU TRULY WANT TO HAPPEN. AND ALL OF THIS CAN BE...BECAUSE YOU CHOSE THE PATH NOT TAKEN... THIS IS YOUR UNIVERSE NOW...MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE."

so....does that make me god?

"IF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, THEN YES, BE A GOD. BUT I'VE FOUND THAT JUST BEING YOURSELF IS FAR MORE REWARDING THAN TRYING TO BE SOMEONES DIETY ANY DAY. BEING DEIFIED IS TOUGH, AT FIRST IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT YOU EXIST...THEN IT'S ALL WORK WORK WORK.....GOD GRANT ME THIS, GODDESS DELIVER ME FROM THAT, ALLAH BLESS EVERYTHING, BHUDDA BLESS MY SHRINE, VISHNU MAKE THE CROPS GROW...IT'S EXHAUSTING I TELL YOU. JUST BE YOURSELF, AND BE KIND...THE REST WILL SORT ITSELF OUT IN DUE TIME."

ummm, thanks? I guess....

"OH YEAH....BEFORE I GO. MY LAST BIT OF ADVICE. LOVE. THAT'S IT....JUST LOVE. YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT. IT MAKES THE TIME FLY, AND HELPS OUT WITH ALL THE TOUGH STUFF. AND NEVER CREATE ANYTHING OUT OF SPITE....IT JUST LEADS TO HEADACHES DOWN THE ROAD OF TIME. OK THEN....HAVE FUN, AND DON'T FORGET TO SWEEP UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE."

hold up, you're just going to leave me here all alone? by myself? all alone?

"YOU'RE NEVER ALONE....YOU'VE GOT A PUPPY, AND ALL OF CREATION. YOU'LL BE FINE. TRUST ME. IF IN DOUBT, MAKE A KITTY...THEY'LL KEEP YOU IN CHECK, AND HELP YOU SEE THINGS MORE CLEARLY. GOOD LUCK!"

Ok.....i'll try, and thank you....well.....for everything.

"YOU'RE WELCOME."

The last echoes of it's voice fade into the evening sun. I walk down a gentle path I created in my mind towards a small lake and nice house I dreamed up while walking. Snoopy is gracefully bounding in the tall grasses by the path spooking up birds, rabbits, deer, squirrel, and all manner of critter with each passing step. The breeze is cool, and the sunlight warm on my skin as I approach my new home. A kitten greets me by the front door, it's mewing telling me it needs fed and a few belly rubs for good measure. It was a good day. Tomorrow, I might just try to make a universe, but today i'm just going to relax, unwind, and enjoy what is already here for a moment longer. who knows....maybe another person will come along and creation will just be that less lonely. As I prepare for bed, I think about all that has happened, reflective, pensive, and somewhat excited for the days ahead...It also leaves me questioning why the other voice told me to sweep up after i'm through...is there somewhere beyond the realms of god? or just another nowhere to be created again and again? i'll figure it out eventually...but for now...this is my undiscovered country, after all. time enough to make the most of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I wake up....Meh....alarm clock goes off, I blearily stumble to the loo, take one look in the mirror, and swear to myself that I will never ever again drink mescal before going to bed, as I run a grizzled hand through the remainder of my thinning hair. never again.)

[man-i-dont-know]

BNHA Chapter 164: Thoughts and Spoilers

I’m late, again. I think this just has become my schedule at this point so... oh well. Let’s get into it.

I wanna start by saying that I am super excited for this arc because at first glance it seems fairly low stakes and in general “relaxing,” in comparison to the last arc anyway. It seems like it will be fun and more informative than emotional. On that note, the first page is Inasa (I hope that is his name, I’ve forgotten) telling Todoroki that They will become the best of buds whether he wants to or not and Bakugou does not seem to like the buddy-buddy atmosphere that’s going on. Then we see that government worker who looks like no one told him that sleep existed, and I think he has become my favorite minor character. “Recently I’ve become afraid of sleeping” is the best way to introduce yourself.

Flaming Garbage Bag, All Might and Present Mic then try to find a seat and Flaming Fart shouts out to Todoroki, who is immediately irritated and I can’t blame him. Wish Todoroki just flipped him off without looking at him but I suppose that would have been a bit out of character. Inasa is kinda pissed too, and I am interested in Inasa’s character greatly, I wanna see how he develops and I want to know more about him. All Might’s presence seems to excite the students and I am glad that he still has that affect on people, it shows that he did a fantastic job when he was a hero, as the symbol of peace.

The eleventh student (not as many as I thought) is introduced and it is Camie, and it seems that this is the real Camie. This is horrifying to me, because it shows that the League of Villains can kidnap people and reintroduce them into society without ever realizing that they were missing. This is scary because it suggests that the League has more connections than we know of at the moment, because none of the known members have any ability that can cause such a lapse of memory. It also means that they can manipulate people directly without any threat of revealing any sensitive information about themselves. They have truly developed into something very dangerous. They are worse than I had guessed last post (I thought Camie might be there to see if we can gain any leads or root out any traitors,  which still might be the case, but not in the way I predicted). Camie as a character is goofy or “bubbly,” but the fact that the League was able to target someone so specifically means they have close tabs on many students, which just emphasizes their strength and intelligence-gathering skills. The good thing is the fact that we realized that we had a problem (thank you Deku) and we are taking steps to gather info on our side as well.

Gang Orca is back and he is mad fresh, he is a sharp dressed man and he also has the crazy eyes and, to me, he has one of the coolest character designs in the series. Addressing the students, he takes up a drill sergeant type personality, which really fits the fact that he was rewarded “most villainous looking hero” title, when he was first introduced. Calling all the students feces, Bakugou tries to talk back then gets tossed, Todoroki says that feces can be useful as fertilizer then gets tossed, and Inasa starts to say something and gets tossed too. Comedy gold right there.

Now we start to learn what this make up exam will consist of, a battle of the “heart.” Since all the students passed the first trial, they have proven themselves competent in a fight, but they failed the second section, which was dealing with victims. Which leads to the big dramatic reveal. Gang Orca is screaming about saving people, trusting the heroes and respecting the victims, the very essence of heroic work. This dramatic speech given at a scream gives way to an opening door, to reveal...... elementary school kids. Truly the most dangerous of foes. The teacher looks to be on the verge of tears and she looks like she needs a hug and a blanket, but if she deals with these kids all day than I get it.

The students retaking the test seem underwhelmed, I’d say Bakugou has a fantastic reaction face, but Bakugou tends to have a face like that for anything. Bad vibes hit me when I learned that the children go to a school called “Precious Brats,” paints a perfect picture of what these students are like. Bakugou makes a kid cry in less than 30 seconds and another starts beating on him for it, which sounds about right. Another kid with a side part takes the “I’m much to smart to fall for anything you say” strategy, and something I noticed: Bakugou has a really hard time with people who have side part styles like that, and those characters tend to have a specific personality. Best Jeanist, Monoma, that one meat grinder kid and now this child. Side parts are a warning sign in this series for Bakugou (makes me curious if Horikoshi knew someone with that hairstyle and had a bad impression of them).

Todoroki is dubbed Five Peepee Man (why is the guy with no hero name getting the most nick names? Hand Crusher and Five Peepee Man, I hope it becomes a running gag that Todoroki just gets loaded with a slew of random nonsense nicknames over time), then is tackled by the kids and he seems genuinely concerned. Inasa is just getting punched, and he is just taking it cause he is still brooding over Fire Fart. Camie seems like she would do fine, but Gang Orca seems to disagree, this might just be because she is too bubbly and a victim might not put their hope in her. Also, the tiny girls think Camie is a “hussy” (man haven’t heard that term in ages), so she will have a hard time getting them to like her. (side note: a kid stole from Bakugou and Bakugou is ready to deck a kid)

Gang Orca leaves Inasa, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Camie to “win over” the kids while everyone else goes to a seminar/lecture. I think this is a brilliant way to have them retake this exam. Since they failed in their conduct, it makes sense that they are going to stress conduct with children like this. This test is so perfect for these four for a range of reasons. Tododroki is either socially inept or sassy, and the fact that I can’t tell which makes it hard to trust him (if I was an outside victim that did not know him). Inasa is so overwhelming positive and loud that he might alienate the civilians he is helping, though I am more worried about his burning hate that he has for Fire ‘Stache, if he can get that passionate about a look in the eye, his people skills are pretty weak too. Camie seems to relate to a very small social group, and might put other people off. Her communication with other heroes might be hindered by her speech patterns as well, even her classmate considers her clueless, which isn’t a quality you’d want a hero to have. And Bakugou... is Bakugou.

We saw so much violence in the last arc that we kinda forgot that there are other aspects to being a hero, and I am elated that we get to explore those aspects more, because those are my favorite conversational topics. How to conduct yourself is a topic I love because I love stories and characters that are leaders somehow, and leaders always have some kind of specific conduct that makes them good and effective leaders. It has been a while since I read this, but Ender’s Game discussed this, as well as Overlord (which is a favorite of mine and I’m thrilled for season two) and these things are amazing to think about. Bakugou, unsurprisingly, does not like this test. I love the touch that the word “despair” hangs over his head, not “anger” or “irritated,” he genuinely fears this test because it was almost made to counter his personality and he will have to put much more effort into it than any of the other students with him.

Present Mic has a panic attack cause he literally can not sit through something that does not have a running commentary, tells “Mighty Boy” that he has to do something and hijacks a microphone from Mr. “I fear sleep,” who puts up minimal effort to stop Mic and boom, now there is commentary. Inasa is being used as gym equipment, Todoroki is being pummeled, Bakugou is trying to fight children, and the girl kids are giving Camie the cold shoulder.

Now Endeavor and All Might start to have the conversation that Endeavor wanted. Crime rates have gone up 3% in a month and Endeavor feels something missing, he wants to know what he is missing. He wants to know what it means to be the symbol of peace. Frankly, I am stunned by this. Hobo Trash Fire Man genuinely seeks out advice from someone he hated, he wants to know what he is doing wrong, he does not feel that things are working as they did anymore, and he does not know what that is. Ironically, this unease is exactly the problem. Unknowingly, Endeavor basked in All Might’s peace, which allowed to act so poorly and competitively, no he is under more scrutiny for his actions despite not changing anything, not just because he is number one now, but because the social climate has changed. Endeavor has to move more carefully now and that “something” he heard breaking was security, which is what lead him to All Might, he is seeing if All Might can provide any security even in his thin state. The whole action of asking for help is exactly what is missing, no one knows who they can turn to.

Horikoshi is brilliant, not only because the asking for help is ironic, but  also because the asking for help, the introspection takes place in an arc that focuses on the students looking into themselves and providing support for the kids around them. I can see All Might doing two things next chapter: a heartfelt speech, or telling Endeavor to observe the students because they are doing exactly what he is looking for, providing support. The only difference, the Symbol of Peace never takes breaks from this supportive position, and they give support to the whole of the nation. More than scare the villains and criminals of the world, the Symbol of Peace gives the public confidence in their own well-being. If it was about fear, Endeavor would have done that ages ago, in terms of cases solved, criminals would have preferred to encounter All Might rather than Endeavor, but in reality, it was switched. Endeavor did not have the same weight that All Might’s name had, because when the criminal is confronted with All Might, his name and his support would have demoralized the villain and encouraged the civilians, where Endeavor’s presence would demoralize everyone.

Well that is everything, I do want to make one last comment about the last couple chapters. This is not a new observation, but All Might has started wearing clothes that fit him, which makes him look sharply dressed, but to me it is depressing. He wore loose clothes so he could transform whenever he needed to, but he realizes now that he doesn’t need to transform, or, more accurately, can’t. He is no longer who he was and he has accepted this, he has accepted the transition of his work over to others, more specifically, to Deku (can you believe that this whole arc seems to be devoid of the protagonist? I like that approach). Well, that is kinda an under developed idea at the moment but I wanted to put it out there before I forgot.

Thank you for reading, I hope your holiday season is going well or tolerable or great or whichever. I hope you have a great day.